:)

I have had a heavy heart these last years months. And it keeps getting heavier.
A lot of my friends help me open my eyes, and show they actually care.
True friends. Never abandoning, always there.
I cry and I realize, I'm not as alone as I thought.
I have more than the odds against me, and I struggle to cope, just to get by.
But the friends who care and love me are always there. Always by my side.
Even when some of the most important people of my life aren't.
They may not always know what to say or do, but at least they are there.
That's what honestly matters, is their presence, loyalty, and care.
These are bonds that will never break, and I guess, will never be fully understood by those who look upon them from the outside of the situations.

❤

Well where do I start? These couple of months have been tough.. Going to summer school and having no help on my work (till like 2 weeks later but I'm out now). Saver depression and anger within myself from lack of taking medicine plus thinking other things (get to that later). I also been pushing you guys away from me alot (some more then others). These couple of weeks I've had depression after depression.. Feeling alone and hated, feeling like as if no one truly needed me anymore so I started to push everyone away so I could commit suicide without anyone giving a damn.. No matter how hard I pushed you guys just shoved me back and kept fighting me.. The main reason I'm still here is because of you guys.. You're all great to me even though I have my ♥♥♥♥♥♥ days and pissy days.. My entire life everyone gave up around me and left me to suffer from depression.. You guys kept pushing and pushing, trying to snap me out of it (some more then others).. You guys are like a true family/friends.. Thank you all for being there for me.. I just hope you guys can understand that my entire life was a hellhole and even now it is.. We might lose our house in a few years or less... Losing money like no tomorrow... So I stress so much and then Primal Carnage.. So much fun kicking peoples asses but worrying about being made fun of or called a noob.. Or just seeing Rougekiller in a server, having to run as if he was a irl bully.. Then stressing over any game but gmod about my K/D because I don't wanna be seen as a noob... Due to being picked on by my family about getting my ass kicked by them... Mostly my brother and father which later on made me agressive towards men when they beat me at videogames... So I hope you all understand and forgive me.. I know its long but I'd apprecheatte it if you guys read this and replyed... Anyways so yeah...