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报告翻译问题

Yare, yare.
And so, I come to you all under the orders of my Supreme Overlord Commander Queen Suzumiya Haruhi (Yes, she made me call her that!).
What a crappy name.
As I was saying, however, we currently have myself, Suzumiya Haruhi, as well as Koizumi Itsuki. Therefore, we still require a Nagato Yuki and an Asahina Mikuru.
To quote her on what she wants me to say,
"If there are any aliens, time travelers, or espers among you, come bug the hell out of Kyon, now! He may or may not redirect you to me, if you are deemed worthy!"
This all sounds like a pain in the ass to me, and it involves a short interview, but what the hell? Sign up, bug the hell out of me, just do whatever you want....