Words of wisdom by Master Oogway

"If she doesn't do what you desire, it is her friend that you shall acquire"

“If she’s a baddie, you shall make her call you daddy”

"If she's flat and has no cake, her mother you shall take"

"If her river runs red, try the other hole instead"

"If she leaves you for another, there is always her mother"

"If she forgets to bring the gummy, you shall put a baby in her tummy"

"If her booty does not bounce, the end of the relationship you shall announce"