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报告翻译问题

tfw on steroids. can't even use the fleshlight reee etc. possibly heading out to africa in may.
captain has finally lost it, he wants us to wax all the acomodation decks but we dont even have wax. I've cought the chief mate drinking lemon concentrate, he lost 20 000 euros in some casino few days ago. pumpman has a bruised eye, I made fun of him, now he doesn't talk to me anymore. while at port i went to resupply on rum and lubricant, forgot the tobacco, this month is going to suck. bought some socks to bribe the bosun, old man loves his socks. chief cook made us some burgers, turns out we have a burger burglar on board, now we have no burgers. my underpants are starting to smell like vinegar, this is making me a bit nervous. last week one of the engineers asked me if i'm the one who was listening to britney spears and smoking in one of the public toilets. I denied everything.
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