It worked!

>God wouldn't create creatures in a constant state of suffering
>Humans exist
>God didn't create humans
>The pie is misinformation

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Weird fact: the Easter Bunny was the source of a significant amount of theological debate during the 1200's, as Catholic philosophers debated why God would create a creature in a constant state of labor (and thus suffering). The Catholic Church ultimately resolved this question by declaring that the Easter Bunny orgasmed every time it laid it an egg (which it was doing constantly). This is now codified in Canon Law (the legal code of the Catholic Church and much of Europe in the pre-modern era) and saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.

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Tarnished, a word. I heard you conspired with Ranni the Witch.

I understand. The need for puppet gush is strong. Do you think I've not felt it? In my quest to be all knowing, I too have known the draw to the blue cunny. With 'er four arms, think of all the things that she could do to it- your tarnished tackle.

And then imagine ten more.

Just tell me this: When she was miniature and in your grasp, did ye... stick 'er in a jar? And did ye fill that jar with your tarnished seed? I'd do the same if given the chance.

Be on your way then. To the capital.