TO SECURE, CONTAIN AND PROTECT.

It has come to the departments attention that a new alien has been sighted within the entity's realm. This Alien is reported to be armed and dangerous, seemingly "coming" to kill good hard working Americans.

I am announcing a nationwide man hunt for any and all of these "configurations" that this Alien possesses. They are to be confiscated and added to the Department of Homeland Security's evidence locker for when we are able to successfully capture and deport this illegal alien.

The department will not take any questions at this time, and this notice is effective immediately for the foreseeable future.