How To Breathe

This is a step by step guide on how to breathe. Now I know what your thinking, and calm down, take a few deep... oh wait.. See, this is one of those moments where you would need to learn how to breath. Breathing can be very challenging to some people, and I plan on walking you through it so you can be huffing and puffing like a champ.

Opening your mouth

Opening your mouth is a hard obstacle to overcome, but once you've mastered it you'll be breathing air like Snoop Dogg breathes smoke. To open ones mouth, you must tell you brain to open your mouth. You have to focus very hard, and if you focus hard enough your mouth will open. Congratulations, you did step one!.

Aligning your tongue

Your tongue can be a very pesky object when it comes to breathing. Personally, I just chopped mine off, what are taste buds at the risk of choking while breathing. But if you choose to keep your tongue, you must press it to the bottom of your mouth as hard as you can, because if you don't, this attempted breath could be your last.

Inhaling O2

This is the glorious moment you have all been waiting for, the revelation, the conclusion. Have you ever drank out of a Slurpee cup before? The technique is similar to that. Simply suck in with your lips in a small O, and that's it! You inhaled oxygen!