K GUYZ I HAVE BEEN MADE AWARE THAT SOME OF YOU DID NOT KNOW WE WERE ACTUALLY PLAYING A UGC OFFICIAL.
I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT WE DID INDEED JUST PLAY PL_UPWARD AGAINST THE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ STRONGEST SIDE WE HAVE
EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO ENCOUNTER. THE ENCOUNTER WAS PARTICULARLY DIFFICULT FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS LAUGHING SO
HARD I PISSED A HOLE IN MY SHORTS AND HAD TO GO TO THE DOCTORS HALFWAY THROUGH WHILE PLAYING TF2 ON PUBLIC WIFI USING THE
CIGARETTE LIGHTER AS A DILDO.
THEIR MED WAS REALLY HARD TO KILL, I MEAN I HAD TO FIGHT TEMRANE
FOR THE MELEE HIT AND THE ♥♥♥♥ STOLE MY KILL LIKE A TR00 GUVNA.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I WAS SHAKING LIKE A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ LEAF WHEN THEIR HEAVY WAS PUSHING THE CART WITH THE HUO-LONG,
LET ME TELL YOU THAT. HE HAD THE TRACKING OF A 1980s VCR AND THE TACTICAL AWARENESS OF A DEAD GOLDFISH
BUT JESUS ♥♥♥♥ DID HE GET RESULTS. I MEAN HE KILLED TOON LINK WITH AFTERBURN ONCE. HOW THE ♥♥♥♥ DID HE
MANAGE THAT.
AND WHEN I RAN IN A STRAIGHT LINE WITH GRU AND PUNCHED THEIR SNIPER TO DEATH
WHILE HE JUST BACKPEDALED WITHOUT SHOOTING ME AND TOOK HIS BEATING, JESUS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CHRIST THAT WAS A CLUTCH PLAY.
THAT OFFICAL WAS TOUCH AND GO, I WASN'T SURE IF WE WERE GONNA MAKE IT AT SOME POINTS.
I HAD TO BRING OUT THE BRASS BEAST AT ONE POINT JUST SO THEIR DEMO COULD ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE AT BEING ABLE TO STICKY SPAM ME.
BUT CRIT HAPPENS, IN QUITE POSSIBLY OUR FINAL MATCH SHOWED THAT THERE ARE INDEED TEAMS IN STEEL THAT
ARE WORSE THAN US. PRAISE JESUS, EAT A BAGEL AND AH-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-MEN. YOU'VE BEEN THE BEST GUVNAS I'VE SERVED FOR A LONG
TIME AND ONE DAY YOU CAN JOIN ME IN UKIP.