"When will the horror end! More cheese has been liberated from the proud owners of cheese! Dozens left without cheese!" -Chicago Post

"Where did my cheese get to?" or "I can't find that flavorful piece of cheese I was looking forward to eating." Well, we can tell you where that cheese got off to! Now look up, and stop crying over the lost piece of cheese that put the rest of your useless dairy products to shame! We are.... The Notorious Cheese Bandits. It all started about 15 years ago when we all had strange hankering for cheese. We were strapped for cash at the time and we...*sighs*... broke into a dairy shop late at night and made off with the biggest wheel of gouda cheese you could imagine. Unfortunately, once we returned to our great headquarters the police had discovered the theft and arrested the whole lot of us. We were swiftly sent to maximum security prison and given sentences to life for our crimes. Luckily for us we had discovered a way out and had escaped and ran off into the night.... only to find more places to steal the sweet, sweet cheese from. Most likely your refrigerator. But we never again saw that grand wheel of gouda. Never again.... SO, in order to obtain this grand cheese wheel, we are recruiting new and able cheese thieves to help us steal and rob and pillage, in order to steal cheese. Recruitment is at our base in Zurich. You can't possibly miss it. It's in Zurich. Probably.