You want to know the secret of the cheese ripple but you can't (yet)

Just to clarify the secret does exist. However, it is only known by a chosen few, namely the players Peradon (the great) and Dirk Gently (the great). It is also known by some idiotic guy who looks like a waffle and plays PC games, but doesnt know what Steam is (!?).

The secret is a matter of great and supreme importance, and must be protected AT ALL COSTS. As a reward for your great service, members will be given valuable clues about the secret, and when the time is right (i.e. when we have loads of members, so invite everyone) the secret will be revealed in a huge and potentially apocalyptic ceremony.

When told he could not know the secret the legendary player El Presidente said "I dont really give a [insert 'boop' sound here] about the cheese ripple", he is considered a heretic for his false words. However, he has been forgiven and is now allowed in the group. Of course he wants to know, everyone does.