Because girls want to ♥♥♥♥ alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? Yeah, I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ her.

The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her? Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?
And what's more? I laugh at guys like you. When you cry about how much girls treat you bad, and wonder why they can't just see that you're a nice guy who would always treat them right? I nod and tell you to hang in there, you'll find someone right for you someday, don't give up hope man. But inside? I'm laughing my ass off at you, you pathetic ♥♥♥♥. Every girl you set your sights on, who isn't a disgusting pig-monster, I'm going to ♥♥♥♥ 6 ways from Sunday before you even tell her you think she's cute. I won't bother trying when you finally settle for that 350 pound girl who works at hardees, you can have that.
I laugh at how prefect it all is.
And the biggest reason I laugh?
It's not even me doing all this. It's the girls. She needs me, on a primal level you'll never get to see firsthand, even if you do get a chance to ♥♥♥♥ her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what it's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath.
I'd say you should become an hero, but you being around makes her want a real man all the more, so keep fagging it up emo ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I'll keep that ♥♥♥♥♥ warm while you're crying in the corner.