I went into this with a firm political stance. A hardline position. Pineapple on pizza was wrong. Morally. Philosophically. Constitutionally.

Then I experienced it.

What I thought would be a light snack turned into a full ideological collapse. One bite in and my worldview began to fracture. The sweetness. The contrast. The forbidden harmony of flavors I had sworn to oppose. I sat there, controller idle, questioning every argument I had ever made in comment sections at 2 a.m.

This wasn’t just pizza. This was character development.

By the third bite, I had reached acceptance. By the fourth, I had reached enlightenment. I am no longer the person I was before this experience. I have unsubscribed from my old beliefs and patched in a new update to my soul.

Is it for everyone? No. Some people aren’t ready. But if you’ve ever wanted a game that challenges your deepest convictions and forces you to confront who you really are when the pineapple hits the cheese—this is it.

10/10
Would abandon my principles again.

ubisoft could never

how it feels to chew 5 gum