I would never want to recommend this game to my friends unironically, and thus its the perfect game to recommend to my friends. Was uncomfortable for most of the time I spent playing it. Loved it.

The Good Time Garden is a very short game, and I will dare say that it was quite a memorable experience, even if it may be for the wrong reasons. But where else would you find a game that would be as bold as to record voice lines that eagerly and enthusiastically utter the words “baby d*ck” and “butt hole” in such an endearing way? Not a lot of places, I believe. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe the game is telling us that life revolves around hairy nut sacks and absurd appendages. Maybe we are all just hungry, gaping holes with an appetite for endlessly consuming anything and everything around us, regardless of what it is. Maybe we are willing to accept whatever we are being fed so long as it gives us satisfaction, even if it meant our own demise. Or… maybe… as my good friend and I like to succinctly put it: maybe the sky is just f***ing blue. No, the author didn’t write “The sky was blue…” because of some metaphor or deeper connotation. The author really just meant the sky is blue. And for The Good Time Garden? Perhaps it is just what it is… a fever dream filled with d*ck jokes. And that is okay.

Putting aside that intentionally pretentious review, I give this a middle-of-the-road rating, but slightly leaning toward meh territory. It’s a free product that doesn’t overstay its welcome, and it’s absurd enough to be memorable even if all you can remember is a snout that can inseminate the world, butt cheeks that stare right at you, and a spanking hand that can introduce you to new kinds of kinks – and the hairy balls and the penises, of course.
Can’t really call the game sh*t, because the art and overall presentation will probably stick with me for the rest of my life – and I wish it won’t, but I think it will – and that’s… something, I guess. Can’t really call the game good, either, because there’s not much to do and not much here that makes sense. But then again, I can’t really complain since it’s a free game. Or should I say a free interactive piece of media that’s trying to tell you something. What that something is… well, your guess is as good as mine. But perhaps it’s probably for the best if we leave it unsaid.

Try at your own peril. Be warned, though: if you press ESC, it will automatically quit the game. I found this out the hard way and ended up playing this game longer than I should have.
If you are looking for a “dafuq did I just witness” experience, then that is probably what you’ll get.

TL;DR: 3/5 because it’s free, but more like 2/5 because “dafuq is this sh*t” sums it up quite nicely in the context that it would be insulting to games I rated 2/5 that at least had some good and enjoyable content, albeit marred by other factors. Not quite poop, because this will stick with me for a long time. (There’s a pun in there somewhere.)