On 3rd hit: knockback
20% slower swing speed

I believe that it would swing faster since it's a wodden cane, anyway
Stats:
10% faster firing speed
15% less damaged receive if hit with a melee weapon
Receive 10% less health from health packs and other healing sources

Let's... not...

What if it was like a cane sword, the stats should explain that if you don't understand.
Alt Fire: changes into sword form
while in sword form you take 8 dps (even while dequiped) and swing 15% slower but you deal minicrits (only on melee)
-70% damage while in cane form but you would regen 2 health per second
it would also take a small amound of time to switch forms

On hit: makes the enemy slightly shake
The scout will slightly shake if he's hurt while taking the weapon out.

How about the Fan o' War except without the -75% damage, and replace it with 10% slower swinging speed
(So,
On Hit: Mark enemy for death for 5 seconds
-10% swinging speed
"If your looking for a beating, you cane to the right place.")

While weapon is active:
5th consecutive hit always crits
Critial hits stun enemies for 3 seconds
20% damage vulnerability on wearer
No random critical hits

Razzle Dazzler
+ Razzler:
critical hits stun players
+ on kill: 3 seconds of 100% crits
- crits don't do any actual damage

pros
+ 15% fancyness
+ 100% classyness

cons
- 30% society

pros:
50% more range
25% nockback
10% more damage

cons:
20% vulnerability
20% slower fiering speed