(decided to put my little silly here instead of cluttering up the front page of comments section. besides this way more people will see it than just the first 10 people to post comments or something. plus no symbol cap <:D)

Are you tired of the small drab siege towers? Are you tired of the french knights laughing at your poor excuse of a Trojan bunny? Are you ready to take the fight to them?

Well then! The Mammoth™ is exactly what you need.

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Hi I'm Billy Mayes, and I'm here to sell you a real mans siege machine. That's right folks, The Mammoth™ is THE be all and end all when it comes to modern warfare. And it can be yours for only 10 easy payments of 19.99$!

It comes equipped with a state of the art battering ram, crafted by vikings in the arctic circle. That's right! The Mammoth Ram™ from our previous episode is certified and Odin™ approved!
Just look at its wood finish, with ropes hand crafted by tireless buff men in the middle of the snow of the arctic circle. But wait, this masterpiece is a lot more than just looks. Oh no, this device will smash its way through even the hardiest of steel doors, guaranteed or your money back.
-video clip of smashing through door with mammoth ram™-
Here you can see our workers setting up 10 tons of steel door. 8 solid inches of steel. We're not cutting corners here folks, we used half the budget money from my oxyclean commercials to make this one just right!
Now watch as the Mammoth Ram™ slams through those doors in not 3, not 2, but 1 single swing. That's right folks, not even the strength of steel can stop the raw viking power of the Mammoth Ram™

Next on our list, The Mammoth™ comes with an authentic catapult, and constructed by byzantine engineers that we may or may not have captured during illegal events. But don't worry about the questionable origins, watch as the Mammoth Catapult™ hurls 8 tons of rock, 10 tons of cannonball, AND this cow, 20,000 yards and hit its mark!
-small video of the mammoth catapult™ hurl all the things towards a small barbarian army heading its way, completely destroying everything in the area, including said barbarian army-
That's right folks, this Mammoth Catapult™ can be yours too if you buy The Mammoth™

But if you think that's all we have to offer here, then you are sadly mistaken! Because not only did we or possibly didn't kidnap byzantine engineers, but we also possibly somehow happened across some Swedish engineers to construct the greatest of your siege defenses!
Look at these security doors, made of solid iron oak. You heard right, folks. The wood to craft these doors were made of 100% authentic iron, cut down by the vikings during their age of settling in the arctic circle! And now they're in your potential siege machine!
-video of a siege machine coming to attack the mammoth™-
Oh no! The barbarians have noticed your movements and have decided to attack!
But don't worry! You are well and perfectly safe within The Mammoth™! Watch as their battering ram forged of common wood slams into the defensive doors! Look at all those splinters! They should have purchased The Mammoth Ram™ for this kind of job!

But wait, lets go on ahead and finish them off by unleashing your well protected army, on the now defenseless barbarians! That's right! The Mammoth not only comes with The Mammoth Ram™, The Mammoth Catapult™, and The Mammoth Doors set™, But The Mammoth™ comes with enough room within to hold your own private army!
-shows video of a small militia rushing out of the mammoth before cutting to a shot of an entire army with similar flags. RESULTS MAY VARY-

But if you buy right now we'll also include this deluxe Mammoth Storage™ capable of holding anything and everything you ever need stored, 2 crates of our Special Mammoth Ammo™ guaranteed to give you THE bang for your buck, and this Retractable Mammoth Ladder™ that we managed to coax out of the Byzantines before they mysteriously vanished within our basem..er... labs, capable of reaching the top of even the tallest of castles!

But wait there's more!
If you order soon, we'll even throw in, not 4, not 8 but 18 independent wheels! That's right folks, the viking engineers here in Valhalla have been working day and night to produce the strongest, fastest wheels on the market! Not only will you be able to fight from afar, but within an instant you can bring the fight right to their front doorstep, long before they can get their cannons readied!

But that's not all! Because of the special going on with our co-producers, we're also going to include a specialized log trap built by Ewoks, and they'll even pack it up, and ship it with The Mammoth™ from Endor, right to your doorstep ABSOLUTELY FREE!

That's right! If you buy RIGHT NOW you can purchase The Mammoth™ which comes with the Mammoth Ram™, Mammoth Catapult™, Mammoth Storage™, 2 crates of our Special Mammoth Ammo™, A Retractable Mammoth Ladder™, 18 Mammoth Wheels™, and one Ewok Log Trap™! All for 10 easy payments of 19.95!

But if you purchase our order in the next 30 seconds, click the subscribe button, you'll get all of this and you're very own Mammoth License ABSOLUTELY FREE!

I'm Billy Mayes, AND THIS
Is The Mammoth™