BRONZE:
"You didn't notice it the first time, probably looking at that guy's ridiculous hat. When you came back and shot him, I bet he turned into your former Frenchman friend."

SILVER:
"Welcome to the club, friend. Fifty times and you're probably sick of it. But listen, SOMEBODY has to get drafted. Builds character, buffs those mercenary muscles of yours. It feels great to turn a battle around, after all."

GOLD:
"The Announcer sends her condolences. Or she would, if she knew the confusion of getting fired by her boss and then hired by her boss's competitor. Perhaps if you wore purple and played both sides with pre-recorded messages... actually, how does she say two different things at the same time, anyway?..."

PLATINUM:
"This special brand of pain changes people. It's changed you. You pity the mercenary who gets auto-balanced off your team. You recognize their hat as your co-workers visit their spawn room. You watch in horror as they're showered in team-colored rockets and lasers. And you take a moment to doff your own hat over their hatless gibs. If this description hits deep, then you've truly earned the badge."