i don't undersant your problem ! (i play with the 3.1 version)
but you can try this : save one time an call this save "Main save"
after do each possibilty AND save with a new name like "SAVE 1"
when you know who are the vassal for this land name that "save Musashi" for example :)

1/ NAMES :
at the moment in a game, when you become a vassal, you select a banner and a name for your clan. After when you have a "city", you become really a lord !
So, after : you have after the name of your character "san or sama + Great lord of : NAME OF CLAN" - it's the same for your new vassals (compagnions or others)
they have always the name like "Musashi" but with "Musashi san of NAME OF CLAN".

AND for information : it's better to play in ENGLISH... you can have some "bug"
in others languages,because the mod is made in English :)
(if you found a patch in your language, you need maybe to pass your Warband game in your language before)

2/ Castles & cities :
when you become lord of a clan - you need to give castles at compagnions,
because they become vassals, and...you need vassals (you can wait for give !)
IF YOU GIVE THE VASSALS RANK AT A COMPAGNION :
he leave your troop ! so take care about that !!!
for castle & cities, you have a "free gestionnary" of the city, you can use this guy before
give the castle at a vassal !
You need to have a "big city" and go at the main keep, here with minister, you can give some land at the good vassal !
HERE : normally you have the choice ! so select the good line of text.
for each land, you can select the good vassal for rule the selected land !

3/ you no need to fallow a lord & a clan to be at your turn a Great Lord ;)
made your own way !!!

Good luck !