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(Escape) Green Park Forced Retirment Community

Green Park Forced Retirement Community

Housing:

47 one king bed, one bath with office and nook houses
7 apartment buildings (4 units each)
7 quadraplexes
3 duplexes
1 high capacity apartment building (17 units)

Food:

All food shall be served in the buffet style restaurant between the hours of 5-7 am and 6-8 pm. Our Famously trained chefs will cater to your every culinary need they work tirelessly so you don’t have to. FEAR not about the price as meals are included in your stay FREE of charge to you. This is due to the fact that there are no kitchens in any of our housing units (to prevent house fires). Maybe you’re a messy eater, we don’t mind one bit because once your done eating we also clean up everything and wash it like new, with a smile on our face I might add. Though should you feel the urge to help out we wont stop you after all everyone likes company while they work.

Laundry:

There are 3 Laundromats around the community open between 9am-5pm for your use. I’m sorry to say but this is our most lacking amenity in the community. While we would absolutely LOVE to do all of your laundry for you FREE OF CHARGE. Sadly the company we hired to do the job pulled out of our contract last minute. Don’t be too sad though. The cancelation clause in our contract has made it so that we can still provide the facilities free of charge to you as all costs will be levied against the company that pulled out. So WASH AWAY all the way to the bank.

Security:

We pride ourselves on security. Our walled off community has two gate security offices with 3 always on duty officers to control the flow of traffic into and out of our community. We also have 3 top of the line state of the art security complexes with 24 around the clock officers watching to make sure your safe in your home. If you’re out for the day we will watch the homestead for you, it will be our pleasure.

As well as our other security we also have 3 officers in the restaurant at all times. No more loud conversations or out of control parties in our community, we see to that. There is also a 5 man armed response team ready to go at a moments notice should you ever find yourself in need of help. All you need do is call and we will be there.

Work:

We know how restless one can be in retirement. Have no worries we have thought of that for you as well. With our arts and crafts factory you can make your very own unique License plates for purchase by the general public. I’m sure they would Love to see your work up close.

Also within our arts and crafts factory you will find a constant helpful security presence should you hurt yourself rest easy knowing we have your wellbeing foremost in our minds.

Family Fun:

Maybe the family would like to see our beautiful facilities as well. If so we have the place just for it. So invite them on down and share the experience with them in our family fun building.

Health:

Should you ever fall ill or become injured fear not for our state of the art medical facilities are always staffed with the most qualified personnel capable to treat anything that ails you. From a stubbed toe to disembowelment, any and everything not including death we can cure. Though should you kick the proverbial bucket we have that covered as well with our state of the art morgue, where we will dress you up in your best clothes and take care of all funeral arrangements AT NO COST TO YOU OR YOUR LOVED ONES.

Park:

Maybe you like the outside air as much as we do, If so boy do we have the park for you. Its very large and spacious. We also have a dedicated weights and work out area under the sun. Or maybe you just want to jog on our outside trail. If so you will love it.

Water and Power

Now you may be thinking. I LOVE what I have read already but im worried about utilities, after all I want to know I have the best of the best. Well future resident, FEAR NOT, for we have the best of the best in both power and water. Our little community runs on 5 separate power grids, YES you read that right FIVE, with room for a 6th should we ever feel the need arise. If for any reason you lose power we will work around the clock to return power to your location, usually within the hour.

That being said our water grid is nothing to slouch about either, its state of the art water pump guarantees that you will never be without water pressure, we are so sure that only need one pump to guarantee it.

Garbage:

Fear not, you shall never again have to walk to the curb to take out the trash because WE DO IT FOR YOU. That’s right we come to YOU and get the trash so you don’t have to come to us.

Deliveries:

Need materials for your arts and crafts, or maybe some new clothing, maybe its something else like a new tv or ANYTHING else. Don’t worry, WE HAVE THAT COVERED. Our professionally trained workers will pickup deliver and install anything that you need. You will never have to get your own packages again. Need your arts and crafts delivered to someone. WORRY NOT. We will do it for you FREE OF CHARGE I might add. Once your done with your work just leave it in the arts and crafts center and we will take care of all packaging and shipping for you, no need to worry about your work getting to the proper recipient either all of our shipping is done with signed receipts upon delivery, so you KNOW the right person got it.

Entry:

Now you may be thinking. OH WOW HOW CAN I EVER GET IN. the wait list must be ages long. Well not to toot our own horn, yes there is a wait list but if your reading this your already on the list. And LIKELY on your way. Have no fear of finding us we will FIND YOU. Because here at Green Park Forced Retirement Community
Our goal is your security and happiness.