First off, don't buy armor. "Power armor is for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" — Richard Kickem

You only want to buy super 1337 guns, like the deagle. It's very fancy, it's silvery, and it goes "SWIOSH FWWOOSHSHSOSHWOSHS" when you equip it, it's like "flippity flop" all over the place.

The AK? Man, screw the AK, the P90 is where it's at, just rush into everywhere without looking and spray that magazine harder than a pornstar's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Also, the auto sniper is a good secondary weapon, just make sure you have the right load out and wildcard equipped.

Now remember, when you get killed, you don't re spawn, so make sure to deliver extremely important information to your teammates by screaming "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KILLED HIM" into the microphone as loud as you can. RIP headphone users.

That's the enemie's face when they get 720 nosc0ped by your auto sniper.

If you still need help, check out this video on how to play CS:Go away


anyways the grenades are super amazing and very effective. I'll go over them individually.

The firebomb: just chuck it somewhere on the map lol.
The HE: throw them in extremely confined spaces that you are standing in and make sure to catch yourself within the blast radius. Optimally, the grenade will bounce back at you.
Smoke: people say you should memorize smoke spots, but just throw them in a doorway and you should be good to run right through it and surprise your enemies.
Flash bangs: always throw them into an area and charge into said area before it detonates, preferably becoming deaf and blind from your own grenade.
Decoy: buy this if you have an extra $50 and just throw it at your teammates at round start.

Now that you know how to play Counter-Strike : Globally offended (tumblr), you can hop on competitive. Remember, no armor, buy everything you possibly can every round, and you gain +1 prestige point every time you kill someone with a Zeus. Also, ADS is broken, you have to fix it yourself in console. Enable developer console and type "unbind all"

<LIVE ACTION SHOT OF A MAN WHO GAINED +420 PRESTIGE BY KNIFING EVERYBODY>