3.3 - Acquire every achievement. It's as simple as that.

Where to get: Shay, Act 1.
What to do: At the breakfast table, choose a cereal (any cereal). In the next scene, where the spoon talks to you, DON'T pick up the spoon. Let him continue to talk until you get the achievement.

NOTE: If you don't have it, this is a good time to get picky eater. Simply refuse every cereal Mom offers. When you refuse the last cereal, SPLARGH, you'll be taken to this scene anyway. Two in one!

Where to get it: Shay, Act 1.

What to do: In the breakfast scene, refuse every cereal mom offers. When you refuse the last cereal, SPLARGH, you will get the achievement.

Where to get it: Shay, Act 1.
What to do: Part of the required story progression. In the Runaway Train mission, extend the Bridge by yelling at the Bridge Man. When the Yarn Pal with the long arms looses his grip, retract the bridge by yelling at Bridge Man again.

Where to get it: Shay, Act 1.

How: You must rescue the "Unarmed Creatures" flawlessly, without missing once, in each of the three missions (The first one, Danger Sector 5, and Prima Doom). Save before and after each mission, reload as needed.

Where to get it: Shay, Act 1

What to do: Required to advance. when you're attempting to get to Prima Doom, go through the museum from Marek's Room, and get the baby radiation suit. Go through the Red Teleporter. Exit through the left, and go through the right door on the right side of the screen. Go all the way down the hallway, to the Train door, and go through the blue teleporter. Go through the middle teleporter, go through, put on the baby-sized helmet, and put the Inhiibitor on the orb.

Where to get it: Shay, Act 1
How to do: Once you get Grabbin Gary (inside the present in the Explore the Fungus mission, or through the door to space, if you didn't do that mission), simply use him on nearly everything. You must get this in Shay's Act 1, so simply put Gary on nigh everything till you get the achievement. Remember to try using him on other inventory items, too

Here's a list of combinations that I believe will get you the achievement, helpfully provided by TheLimeyDragon. There may be a few more combinations that will work, but as mentioned above, you have to use Gary on nigh everything.

http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/app/232790/discussions/0/620712364039091470/


NOTE: While you're using items on items, use your spoon on everything around here too. You're gonna need it for the achievement "Are You Trying to Get Rid of Me Sir?"

Where: Shay, Act 1
How: Part of the story. Go to space, equip the Whipped Cream Gun and air bag. Cut the space cord with the knife from the kitchen. Fly through space, to the left. Pry the boom controls open with the knife, and use gary. You may want to get achievement 7, before doing this.

Where: Shay, Act 1.
How: Part of the story. Get the crochet needle from the Friendship Circle, after doing their mission. Go to the Space Weaver, give him the star chart from Marek to Prima Doom. Tell him to go to the Cozy Cluster, go down the ladder, and use the crochet needle to make it match Prima Doom's star chart.

Where: Vella, Act 1
How: Simply exhaust every character's dialogue tree in Vella's House, before solving the puzzle and advancing to the Maiden's Feast.

Where: Vella, Act 1
How: Required for the story. Talk to every Maiden. One gets eaten. Ask the bottle maiden for her bottle. Ask her again. Give the bottle to Food Maiden. Give her your towel. Use the Corset on the bird, then the knife on your dress.

Where: Vella, Act 1, Meriloft.
How: Talk to the guy being hung by his underwear in the tree until you get the achievement.

Where: Vella, act 1
How: Required. In Meriloft, once you get the ladder. Go past the big bird with the gold egg. Fall through the hole to the right, the one over the fat guy hung by his underwear. Go down the hole in the tree trunk. Go to where he was and get the egg. Give the egg to the bird.

Where: Vella, Act 1, Meriloft.
How: Required. Simply complete all the Meriloft puzzles by collecting three golden eggs and putting them in the bowls of offering.

Where: Vella, Act 1
How: You'll need to get the fruit from Meriloft. Eat one yourself, get another, give that one to Curtis to get the achievemet. Note that you'll need one more to solve the Riddle of Yorn

Thanks solaris32 from the comments!

Where: Vella, act 1, forest
How: After you leave Curtis, go left until you get attacked by a snake. Simply wait it out until you get the cutscene and achievement.

Where: Vella, Act 1.
How: Required. At the fight with Mog Chothra, fire the laser at three tentacles. Wait for Mog to pick you up and stare at you. Use the ladder on his mouth, fire the laser inside.

Where: Automatic

How to get it: Simply beat both Vella and Shay's stories in Act 1.

Where to get it: Shay, Act 2
How: Simply use the spoon on everything, every inventory item, everyone until you get this. You need to have started in Act 1, so use the Spoon on everything from the time you get him in Act 1 until you get the achievement in Act 2. Enjoy it, because it has some of the best dialogue.

Where: Shay, Act 2.
How: Required. You need to build a Hypercam. Free the Not-Mayor of Shellmound with the Snake, give him the Schematic from Alex, tell him Sand is a great material, put the sand sculpture in front of the tree, show him a picture of Vella, take that to Curtis, and get him to make you the Hypercam.

Where: Shay, Act 2.

How: You need to beat F'ther's Knot Puzzle in one go. Don't have him try unknotting the knot, but get him to describe it. Screenshot that. Ask Carol in Shellmound about knots, and describe the knot in your screenshot (you may have to look closely). Borrow Alex's Pencil, and give it to Carol. Take the diagram back to Meriloft, get on the ladder, and describe each of the three pictures to F'ther. If you do this right, the knot should loosen and come undone. You have to do this CORRECTLY THE FIRST TIME to get the achievement. If you fail, reload a save or come back to it next playthrough.

Where: Shay, Act 2.
How: Required. Simply do the Knot puzzle mentioned in 21. Whether you get it the first time or not, you'll get the achievement.

Where: Shay, Act 2, Meriloft

How: After doing the puzzle mentioned in 21 and 22, go to where the left behind maiden is in Meriloft. Brother Lightbeard's in jail here. Talk to him thrice, to get the achievement.

Where: Shay, act 2.
How: Required. Get the feather radiation suit. After asking the left-behind maiden for a costume, give her your baby radiation clothes, and the Dead Eye Prophet's robes, after getting them to disrobe.

Where: Shay, Act 2.

How: Required. Get your dad to make the sealing compound by talking to him about it. Use the spoon to test the PH level, add fruit to lower it and eggshells to raise it, until the spoon tells you it's 7 PH.

Where: Shay, Act 2.

How: Tell the perfect tree joke in one try. When you expose brother lightbeard, you get the option of telling the tree jokes. I don't know all the questions and answers, but remember a proper tree joke has a set-up, prompt, and conclusion. Things about tree racism, saws, and non-sequitors are not likely to win the tree's approval.
ex. Do you know what the smallest tree is?
I know a tree as big as my hand...
A Palm Tree!

YOU MUST DO THIS THE FIRST TIME, TO GET THE ACHIEVEMENT.

Where: Shay, Act 2
How: After doing your tree joke in 26, talk to the tree again and follow-up. Easy.
EDIT: It appears that there may be a bug regarding the palm tree joke. You can't follow-up with it. Try any of the other two good jokes and you'll be able to follow-up and get your achievement.

Where: Shay, Act 2

How: Repair your robot. The robot wiring puzzle is too cool to spoil, so let me surmise by saying that you'll need some info from midway through Vella's Act 2, and you'll need wire. This is required to advance the story.

Where: Vella, Act 2.
How: Solve the boots puzzle on your first try (thanks Rasi!)

Where: Vella, Act 2.

How: Required. Simply advance through the story, until you meet Shay's Mom.

Where: Vella, Act 2.

How: After you get locked into the room, use the dome thing. Go all the way Right, and disable light switches sequentially, to get the robot to repair them and move to the next room. You will not get the achievement if the robot goes back, so execute careful timing.

Where: Vella, Act 2.
How: When you're thrust into the room with Hope, exhaust all her dialogue. When you unlock the room, exhaust all her dialogue again. You should get the achievement.

Where: Vella, Act 2.
How: When you get locked up by Marek, talk to him from the video screen. Exchaust his conversation to get the achievement.

Where: Vella, Act 2.

How: After escaping in the finale, get the Wire from Marek's terminal. You'll automatically talk to the President of Evil. Exhaust his dialogue to get the achievement.

Where: Vella, Act 2.
How. When you have control of the ship's systems, click on the sad (red phased) monitors to make them happy! You get the achievement after eight.

Where: Vella, Act 2

How: When you meet up with your fellow maidens, you'll get the achievement upon selecting the dialogue option that elicts the response noted in the title.

Where: Vella, Act 2.

How: Required. Unleash the Bomb by warding off the cleaner bot, acquiring the orb in a bowl of ice cream, and dropping it off.

Where: Vella, Act 2.

How: This one's an awesome puzzle, and it's required. Simply set the starchart to the right place. You'll need some info from Shay's run. Remember that Alex's ship is powered by music, and see if you can learn a song that translates from music to Weave.

Where: Automatic
How: Complete Act 2 of Broken Age.

Where: Finale (Shay or Vella, but it's easier with Shay)
How: I can't tell you exactly how the solution is worked out, but you need to wire the hexipal with the following symbols:

BLUE: Left-right arrows to Up-down arrows
YELLOW: Left Right arrows to little space-ship
RED: Left Right arrows to Down Triangle

If you do this correctly, you'll be treated to a lil' dance. A nostalgic dance. A dance from a man with fabulous hair.



Thanks to DoomsDay1990, lieutenantkitar, and TheLimeyDragon for coming across the solution, and informing me

Where: Vella, Act 2.

How: Let Hope disable the Grapple Arms, and talk to her. Explain that Shay must have a reason for his actions, even if she doesn't understand why.

Where: Shay, Act 2.

How: Get the robot back by giving it the broken radio. Keep it on its dance wiring. Show it to the territorial robots.

Where: Shay, Act 2
How: Let Alex disable the Death Ray when Vella tries to fire it. Talk to him, and explain that Vella must have a reason, even if he doesn't know what.

Where: Automatic

How: Beat the Game.

How: Beat the Game with a save-file time of under one hour, not including pausing and load times

Tips and tricks:

This is super hard. Do a few playthroughs first. Utilizing every strategy I used, I managed a file time of roughly 50 minutes.

Skip every cutscene, spam the room transition clicks. In Shay's Missions, do the Fungus and Friendship circle before failing Bridge Man. Remember you can talk to the Weaver to make him automatically fly. If you move very quickly, you can do act 1 in about 10 minutes or so, maybe less.

You can't skip the end of act 1 cutscene.

You can't speed up Shay's Snake Puzzle.

Abuse Screenshots and Manual Saves. In the wiring puzzles, make a save file before you know the wiring glyphs, play as normal, and screenshot every wiring glyph and configuration you'll need. Then go back to that original save, and use your screenshots to speed up the process. Do the escape perfectly. Do the finale perfectly. Remember you can exit out of most dialogue trees by not clicking any options, and instead clicking the window. SPAM THE HELL OUT OF SKIP CUTSCENE FOR DIALOGUE TREES. This is a tight squeeze, but you have a few room for errors. Not much, though.