Frst of all are you the host, or the hosts ♥♥♥♥♥?! Because only two types of people exist, me and everyone who isn't me. Which do you want to be ♥♥♥♥♥?

As host you will often have people join your game and tell you to change settings. This is known as setting baking, they can only win with certain conditions and they want you to give them those conditions so if you are the host, tell them to shut up or get bent! You're here to win, not to let some pansy push you around!

Still, we need rules in life, SO WE CAN BREAK THEM.
In PvP matches are turn timer on, game speed quick, usually shuffle for map type, ruins on, barbs can be on or off, nobody cares except NOOBS, strategic balance so you don't get shafted with no iron for the NINE THOUSANDTH time and usually random civs.
If you see ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ picking civs watch out because not all civs are equal and not every player is #MLG material like me so boot those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ out! If you join a game and people have picked civs already we call that a ♥♥♥♥♥ party, and guess who is going to be the ♥♥♥♥♥?

Related screenshot!
http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=412335488

Nothing shows how unskilled you are like building the great library ASAP. You want to know why? Whoop-de-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ doo, you got a free tech. now watch you squander it like an idiot. But even if you didn't, you will but lets pretend you didn't, that was how many hammers? That could have made a settler and built 2 libraries in the time you built that one. And guess what else it could have been? 4-5 archers! Thanks for building the great library for me ♥♥♥♥♥! Now GGPO as I move my army in to take your capital and what are you going to do about it? Nothing! Because you got no gold and no more hammers left to defend yourself!

Related image!
http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=390070342

So what should you do instead? Play like a #MLG of course!
Build a settler if you chose Tradition LIKE A ♥♥♥♥♥ or if you are a REAL PLAYER and chose liberty in order to liberate all the noobs playing with you, then you don't even need to worry about building a settler because you get one free! BRO-NUS! Now reseach animal husbandry and sailing so you have 2 trade routes and build two granaries and whats that? Some smuch has just built great library?! Oh noes! What ever shall we do with our 2 cities sending food back and forth at +4 food each which is like a mini hanging gardens in 2 cities!?
And now you have TWICE THE CITIES to make TWICE THE ARMY so you can go claim what is rightfully yours and get that Great library while knockng out a noob and making the rest pee their little frilly panties!

Related image!
http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=381565942

Sometimes even a #MLG like me knows when the odds are against me and when to retreat. HA HA HA SIKE ♥♥♥♥♥ I am always winning! But you are not me so you sad excuse for a mortal, when do you retreat?
War is a lot like a chocolate bar on a hot summers day. You normally enjoy them but suddenly it is melting in your hand. Do you A)scoff it down before it melts or 2) shove it in the fridge?
Both answers are wrong fool, you shove it in the face of your nearest enemy and laugh while cutting them down!
Human players NEVER settle for peace. This isn't the AI anymore ♥♥♥♥♥ where you can make them an offer and then stab them in the face. If a human declares war or you declare on a human then guess what? Its war forever!

Related image!
http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=341560393

Heres what you do if you find yourself at the bottom end of a pegging party.
Build archers forever while pulling all your units back to cower around your nearest city. Citys are hard but not impossible to capture but the goal here is to get promotions and wittle down the enemy. They will be trying to do the same to you but you have the home field advantage. If they move too close the city will get them, if they sit back your newly built archers will pick them off. Its win win for you but wait, theres more! Start building fortresses in your borders for the +50% defense bonus and even better it stacks with the terrain so if you are on hills, that is +75% bonus. In a forest? +75% bonus. Even more reason that liberty kicks ass because now you have +25% faster tile improvement speed which makes building those forts even faster!

Related image!
http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=263515070
Can I get fries with that salt?!

Remember though bro, this is multiplayer and people leave as soon as you take over their capital so don't lose yours and take everyone elses.

Sometimes in life you wake up and realize you are not me. This can be a horrible shock for you to have to deal with, I understand. Here is what you can do about it though.
Many people who play Civ5 suck! They know it, you know it, everyone knows it. So sometimes they decide that the only way to suck less, is to rope other people into playing ♥♥♥♥ tier with them
Because following my tips you are now #1 on the scoreboard, people will start to form alliances and joint declare war on you. This is bad. This is a good time to disconnect.

Related image
http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=262476341

Often times you are losing in score. This is not a good time to disconnect because that is what an army is for! Taking things and making them your things! If however someone surprise declares war on you and tries to snipe your capital (usually costal maps) then disconnect. Make sure however that you give them the middle finger without getting mad salty or else they will lulz and you will lose in real life! Also you can disconnect any ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ time you feel like it ♥♥♥♥♥! Don't worry, everyone will forget who you are and you can even change your steam name so they don't even remember who you are so you can troll them again!
Play to win!

Related image
http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=264308701

Now go forth and win games!