Maybe it was a 3-0, 3-1, 3-2, who knows. All that matters is I stole your hard earned points, and left a massacre of you. Maybe try hitting that lab, or going to therapy.
You see, when you look through that screen, you can see the tears flowing from your eyes. That brief moment of when the game loads from the game end screen, me beating you to a pulp, to the "GET READY FOR THE NEXT BATTLE!" screen. You are looking deep into the abyss, thinking - "What the hell did I do wrong? Who is this amazing Bryan, and why hasn't he taken me as a concubine?"
This next section answers just all of that.

Okay, I lied. Before we answer all of your delectable questions about me being so amazing, let's get to the bottom of how to cure your new founded insecurities.

• Give up and cry
  This is probably by far the easiest and most cost-effective method. Crying is an almost free solution to many problems, even including getting washed by me. When you see me Ki-Charge? Cry. When I bait you with my 3+4 and you walk into it for the 5th time? Cry. When you see me 3-0 you and wipe the floor with you? Also cry!
  For some information:
  
  • Women cry for about 5-6 minutes on average, while men cry for about 2-3 minutes on average.
    
  • Crying for one minute burns 1.3 calories. This equates to 6.5-7.8 (women), and 2.6-3.9 (men).
    
  • In the US, one calorie costs about 4 to 6 cents. Using 5 cents as a middle ground, women lose about 39 cents after crying about me, while men lose 19.5 cents after losing to me.

• Delete the game
  This is most likely the second cheapest option after crying, depending on where you live in the US. I'm in NA so if I wash you internationally, that's on you. I would say from experience, playing DoTA, CS:GO/CS2, Valorant, LoL, etc. that uninstalling is the easiest and most fire n' forget solution.
  I will being using California as my measure for costs.
  
  • One kWh (kilo-watt per hour) is about 30 cents.
    
  • Xfinity is the most common provider in CA, the 300 Mbps plan is around $30/month.
    
  • Xfinity Modems use around 12 kWh.
    
  • Tekken 8 is about 100 GBs.
    
  • Not counting SSD/HDD because it comes with your system/PC. (SSDs usually use 2 kWh.)
    
  • Okay, now to do the math. If an average SSD can uninstall a game in 30 seconds, then it would cost around 80 cents to uninstall.

• Ahem, to install a game (that's why we calculated the WiFi costs) it depends on your WiFi speed and how fast the SSD/HDD can read that data.
  
• We would have to assume that the modem is 12 kWH and the SSD uses around 2 kWh. If we take our initial estimate of 80 cents for the uninstall, we can use that for the install.
  This is the formula for the equation:
  Surprisingly, this comes out to about only 9 cents - cheaper than crying!
  
  
  • Therapy
    Therapy is an expensive but useful tool. Sort of like that pack of Marlboros you had once and now it costs you $20 dollars a week. I will not be figuring out insurance and your credit scores, I am not your accountant that you see once a year for taxes.
    Average cost of Therapy in major CA cities:
    San Jose: $214
    Sacramento: $162
    San Francisco (Luka needs to go): $197
    San Diego: $187
    Fresno: $147
    Bakersfield: $139

• Good for Beginner, such as yourself.
  
• Helps you learn how to move your character.
  
• Makes you realize that you cannot be at my level.
  
• Let's me put you on PhiDX as well.

• Helps you stop playing 2D and start playing 3D.
  
• Helps you learn Sidestep vs Sidewalk.
  
• Good for Beginner, such as yourself.
  
• Helps you learn how to move your character.
  
• Makes you realize that you cannot be at my level.

Yeah, I don't know how that happened. Bryan's neutral is lowkey pretty bad. His small Tekken is cheeks, and his very few good pokes like Hatchet can either be parried, or Sabaki'd (u+4 for example).


As soon as you became predictable, I would know exactly what to do. Lows? I parry it. Random attacks? Whiff punish. Weird pokes? Immortal Payback (f,f 1+2, time on atk). Crouching? Mid check. I know some moves as well emotionally charged you, such as my orbital. Every time that hit you right in the dome, it would hit your dome irl. Every time I heat dash into crouch, you think I'm gonna do the cheesy full crouch Hatchet, FUH NO! I'm gonna jump my butt up and dome you with orbital.

Every time I log into Tekken 8, the game becomes my battlefield. Like that one quote of PhiDX vs. Joey Crush, "It's PhiDX's game now!". That's me, instead - I'm PhiDX. Like Silent Hill, I am the Pyramid Head, sent to obliterate you. The stage becomes a personalized, chaotic, horrifying, hell when you fight me.

Perhaps your destined to queue another game, perhaps your too scared to even pick the controller back up, who knows. All I know is I will be here, waiting for you to return. Whenever you think of anything, remember I'm right there alongside it. Waiting. Pray that you don't run into me, and also pray to get some brains and game knowledge too.