Once I remembered to change the difficult from "Crazy" to "Basic" it was way easier to miss every apple in the witches' mini-game. Basic mode turned out to be great for most all the "fail" achievements that do require a bit of skill to futz up.

The achievement for missing all the colored sections of the book fixing mini game required me to actually click in the wrong spots; when I started the mini game and just let it run while clicking nothing it didn't actually unlock the achievement.

Anyway have fun jerking off, everyone!