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I Hate Stuart Little

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Do you also have a never-ending hatred towards that disgusting rodent who plagued both our eyes and our minds as he presented his unparalleled evil to us in its rawest and most disgusting form?

Don't believe me? Go ask him where he was on November 22nd, 1963...

I've heard he even facetimes the orphans back at the orphanage just to rub salt in the wound.

He’s got an annoyingly smug face and I don’t understand how he tried to get into a relationship with a bird (a completely different species) and also the fact that the Little family adopted him instead of orphaned children who obviously needed it a lot more than Stuart.

I have terabytes of accumulated hate speech against Stuart Little but I will spare you the details.

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• Cook him
  
• Make Stuart Little Spaghetti (saucepan of pasta & 3 Rat Meatballs)
  
• Cut him into slices
  
• Turn into Rat Meatballs (need bread slices & 1 egg)
  
• Grind into seasoning
  
• Grind into Fertilizer
  
• Roll into a cigarette
  
• Force him to smoke cigarettes
  
• Add to your favorite dishes as a protein
  
• Waterboard him
  
• Nail him to a baseball bat
  
• Give him a lobotomy
  
• Set him on fire
  
• Crucify him
  
• Use as fishing bait
  
• Throw him
  
• Impale him on a spear
  
• Drown in nearby water sources
  
• Belittle Stuart Little

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Is this animal abuse?

No, actually! Stuart Little is neither man, nor creature, but an abomination and therefore has no human rights. The US Animal Welfare act, introduced in 1966, only regulates the treatment of Guinea pigs & Hamsters, while Stuart Little is a rat. Therefore, he also has no rights as an animal.


Where can I find him?

He can only be found in garbage bins, as that is where he belongs.