Aight bro lets get the good stuff out of the way. I have 3000 hours in the game and this is the most important lesson:

MOST powers in the game don't matter or aren't relevant at all. The MOST IMPORTANT thing you have to do to win is increase those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ attack and defense numbas!!! 🤯

Shocking, right? But that's not all... There is ONE power that does matter, and it may not be the one you're thinking of...

Daz right. THAT is the most important power.

You got any of these early: 🐇🐧🐒🦒 (LMAO Penguin emoji is so bad)

And it's GG mother truckers! Some people are gonna be like "BuT bUt, mY SuMmOnS..." well u can summon deez nutz my brotha, when my 99/10 ox is RAMMING U UP! 👊👊👊

Fr tho. Just get one of these mofos early and up your stats. Sell whatever u need to sell and start upping dem stats early. And KEEP whoever has high stats even if it has the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ power in da world. Cause dem numbers are what rule this land bby. 💪

If you made it this far, congrats. You are now better than 99% of the population that plays this god forsaken, slot machine of a game. Which means you are better than 4 out of the 5 people that actually play this game lol. Congrats! And momma said u wouldn't amount to anything... Take that, birth giver!

Anyways, my last words of wisdom are these:

🍈 > Melon is the best item in the game, use it on all your carries if possible. It will prevent most powers and help your 99/10 bison attack twice no matter what, bringing mayhem to the opposite team.

🥩 > Your stat giver has ♥♥♥♥♥♥ attack? Fry one of their friendos and put a nice steak on it! Now it deals a TON of damage and will actually measure up against some badass foes... HELL YEAH! No vegans allowed in this army. :P

🌶️ > This item is a little worse than the previous one but it'll do if they don't come up for a minute.

OH AND BTW...

ALWAYS EAT DA CHOCOLATE...

🍫 ALWAYS. 🍫

If you made it this far, what the hell are you doing with your life? lmao

But no really, thanks for reading and playing! I had to kill some time so I literally wrote this up in like 5 minutes. :P

Hope my wisdom helped!

See ya in da farm boyos, LETS GOOO! 🔥🔥🔥