Not everyone appreciates Caesar's Legion. Sure, sure I get it. What with all the slavery, raping, mass murder, stomping about the wasteland like a bunch of pantifatards will set off anyone's gaydar. I appreciate it, you value the individual. But to discard the concept of the Legion as a whole? Narrow vision I says! The shills that wrote New Vegas designed them to be a blatant "muh ebil alt-white nutzi" army of strawmen to shoot at. I am amazed to this day that players were allowed the option to join the Legion, a bit of role playing we're sure never to see again in the lamestream.

I saw something different than a bunch of football hooligans destined to be target practice. Others shared my vision, which led no doubt led to the creation of the stellar mod Caesar's New Regime. When I first heard the words, "they dress up like Roman soldiers" (or was it "degenerates belong on a cross"?) I was instantly captivated. A post apocalyptic Roman Army. Sadly the execution was poor and they were little more than just a Raider gang with a Roman theme.

I still fought for them anyway because PAX ROMANA and the NCR are a bunch of greedy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. House is a scumbag. Independent's a great end, but lacks panache.

The Legion's fatal flaw is that they worship that ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Edward Sallow (hrm, rhymes with Salo). The root of the, dare I say, degeneracy of the Legion was born the moment Edward declared himself the Son of Mars. The ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ muppet even admits this to be a problem and that his motivation for taking Vegas in the first place was to turn it into Rome, trying to redirect the Legion's worship of himself onto the idea of Rome itself. Sorry sonny but you're about ten months too late. You were so excited to be elevated to being Big Chief ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of the Mudfoot Unga Bungas you didn't stop to think long term. I might be cheating here with the blessed gift of hindsight, but here's how I would rebuild and rethink the Legion into a justifiable post-apocalyptic nation-state, while still retaining its antagonistic features.

The first step is to sell the tribals on the Ideal of Rome. NOT. CAESAR. What is the goal of the Legion? To assimilate all the backwards savages living naked in the wilderness under a uniform hegemony, by force if necessary. How do you out compete competitors? Build a better product. If your competition's highest cultural artifact is a can of beans, you should have no problem convincing them that the Roman Republic and subsequent Empire were the greatest civilizations that ever existed. Show them holovids of old Gladiator movies. Show them artwork in old books that depicted Rome and of course Roman Soldiers. Get them hyped on the history of Rome, how it was founded, how they were the most technologically and culturally advanced people of their time. Become a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ prophet and make their new god Rome itself, not Caesar.

Paint Rome as a utopia, that it was it was all milk and honey until degenerates and profligates (like the NCR) soiled it with greed and corruption, leading to its downfall. Remind them that every major republic that ever existed, including the NCR, modeled itself after Rome. Tell the unwashed masses that Rome could live again, and that its in their power to make it happen. Go full Jim Jones on the idea of Rome.

The next phase doesn't deviate too far from the canon, crushing the 86 piss ant tribes and reforging them into a new nation. But this time, its not an army of slaves fighting to enforce the will of their mortal dictator, no no. Convince them they are an army of kings, fighting to forge a homeland for themselves. The greatest nation that has ever existed, Pax Romana. Roma Nova! The faction is not a mere legion, but the New Roman Empire. Now, one of the missteps Legion haters like to bring up is that the actual Romans allowed their subjects to keep their cultures instead of stamping them out. This is how they were able to hold so much territory. So long as you paid your tribute to Rome, you could keep your stupid can of magic beans. Pray to it all day, but pay your tribute and obey or laws or get impaled, capise? Roma Nova would play the long game in winning people's hearts. Again, the selling point is that Rome is the superior product, the superior culture. Dazzle the bone clad natives with chainmail armor, bombastic uniform marches and mighty red banners. They'll all be begging to be legionaries and you won't even have to fire a single salvo.

Now that the foundation is set, there's the warrior culture aspect that everyone loves about the Legion. After all, who doesn't love a sharply dressed man? Caesar had one good idea; no chems or booze, they make you weak.

Meanwhile, ancient technology is a finite resource and we shouldn't be dependent on it. That doesn't mean however we shouldn't exploit it to its fullest. I mean, football pads? What the ♥♥♥♥ were you thinking Sallow?! In Roma Nova, pragmatism is the law. Do whatever it takes to survive and thrive shall be the whole of the law. Scrap metal would be melted down to make Gladii and stylized Roman armor. No more ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ football pads, they're using ransacked police riot shields. Mounts will be made out of mutants, and the army will be supplemented with robots. Martial prowess can still be beaten into the body of every Legionaire. There is no reason not to make use of everything at your disposal. This Legion will be able kick the ♥♥♥♥ out of the Brotherhood, take their power armor, and put it to some good use. This Legion will be the horns of the bull that is Rome. The Rome that shall trample the wasteland into submission.

Slavery is notoriously inefficient and not economical. What incentive does a slave have to not deliberately sabotage the task you've set them out to do? Just pay your workers a damn wage Caesar. Let em buy a house for Pete's sake. If they try to unionize, hang em. Moving on.


Ganon's face when he catches you helping Legion.

Contrary to popular belief, the Legion doesn't practice globohomo. These allegations are likely NCR propaganda and this is verifiable. According to Jimmy, a former slave that works as a prostitute in Westside, his affair with a centurion had to be kept a secret and said centurion even tried to kill him once other legionaries started suspecting something going on between the two, indicating that sodomy is frowned upon in the Legion. Nova Roma adheres to "Natural Law", and shall treat sodomy rightfully as an abomination. Legionaries shall be educated on how homosexuality shortens your life span and makes you a spreader of easily prevented disease. How those who practice it are vampiric monsters who prey on children. Crucifixion is too good a punishment for sodomites. Let them be impaled through the ass. He who sexualizes the child, harms the child; the future of Rome, and thus is attacking Rome. He (or she) is an abomination and shall be put to death in both this life and the next. That alone will propel the Legion's health and fitness to heights than the NCR could even dream.

Speaking of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, let's talk about the women folk. The delusional liberal mind actually believes the very notion of a woman performing any kind of domestic duty is misogyny. No, no silly bigots. A woman's TRUE place is in retail, slowly earning sheckles to pay into the tax system. Rearing healthy children is Nutzism you fiend!

In Roma Nova, the role of a wife is exemplified as it once through out the course of human history (up until the last few decades). It always frustrated me that the Legion, a culture that considers women to be breeding stock, had women strutting about their camp with comically over-sized packs that no human being (let alone a woman) would be able to realistically carry. In a post apocalyptic wasteland, rape and plunder are sadly inevitable. All resources are very scarce, including humans. This would lead any knuckle dragging barbarian to conclude that women need to be used as breeding stock for the continued survival of the human race!

So would it not make sense to keep the women folk...comfortable?!

Canon Legion was presented to us as utilitarian, and Roma Nova should follow through on this. The real battle is conquering resentment from women taken prisoner from dissidents. Roma Nova's Legion should put women into protected harems. Have them live in shelter, in comfort. After all, man built civilization in the first place for the express purpose of sheltering women and children! Let their daughters be educated in the Glory of Rome. Get it through their thick skulls that they are not merely breeding stock! They are the sacred mothers who will give birth to strong, capable, men who will save the world from savagery. In time these women will be given to each man of the Legion, let no loyal solider go without the great treasure that is raising a family. Raise up good mothers and homemakers, and nature will take its course from there.


"Strong" capable man who clearly don't need no woman.

Legate Lanius, Monster of the East. I love Legate Lanius. This ten foot tall titan of terror. Roman Darth Vader is the ultimate killing machine, with the heart of a poet; a dreaded force of nature. We can't not have a version of him in Roma Nova. He's too damn cool. Legate Lanius is already a memetic character in canon, a walking symbol of the Legion's power and barbaric authority. But for Roma Nova his purpose is not only to inspire awe in the Legion, but to paint a huge, non-existent target for the enemy to shoot at. After all nobody knows what he looks like under that mask. His backstory is epic, but hazy at best.

They say he can't be killed, they say he drinks blood. He appears and disappears like a ghost. Right before a battle Legionaries will see him appear on a distant hill, charging the enemy alone. They'll claim to have seen him die on the battlefield, only for him to stand before them a day later, unscratched. Tailored stories circulate on who he is or where he came from. Is he a mutant? Is he the Son of Mars sent as proof of Rome's divinity? Nope!

He's an idea.

As far as the men and the enemy knows, Legate Lanius is one man, Caesar's second in command. Let them think he's this unstoppable one man army that cannot be stopped. Spread word of his monstrous atrocities. In reality, Lanius is unit of specially trained actors who show up to scare the ♥♥♥♥ out of the Legion and the enemy. A secret unit of elite warriors from the biggest, beefiest stock. Part enforcers, part living idol. They'd walk, talk, and fight like Lanius. I'd have them rigged him with a mini nuke to avoid him or his armor from being captured. Heck, I might even use androids if possible! While the NCR is chasing a ghost, the Legion can freely gore them in the ass.

"We shall see how brave you are when nailed to the walls of Hoover Dam, your body facing west so you may watch your world die." - Lanius

This of course brings us to the fate of Joshua Graham and what to do about him. Following canon, the Legion would still go to war with NCR and fail at the first attempt at taking Hoover Dam. Executing Malpais, the co-founder of the Legion, is just plain stupid. Especially in such a grandiose manner. More over, its a waste of a valuable resource! Punishment is in order to be sure, but like all things it should be used in a way that benefits and inspires the Legion.

Have Malpais branded with a hot iron, perhaps with a a big bull symbol, across his back. He gets to keep his life and continue to serve Roma Nova, but with a big, stinging, reminder of his failure. The Burned Man would become a moniker of both shame and strength. Christ baptised him in water, and now Rome baptised him in fire. Keeping Malpais around also means keeping New Canaan alive and intact. The White Legs in this continuity would simply be crucified as an example to other cannibalistic savages.

This opens up the question of spirituality for the Legion. Human beings need religion, its part of our evolutionary tool box. The King James Version of the Bible still exists in the Fallout universe, Malpais reads from it as The Burned Man in canon. We're already rebuilding Rome, ditch the trappings of the Cult of Mars and they could easily integrate Christianity into their society. Like Constantine before us, Malpais' function could be rewritten to serve as the new Pope. Now the Legion wouldn't just be propelled by nationalistic fervor, but be super charged with the zeal of the Crusaders. Legion Knight Templars? Yes.

All these modifications to the Legion would fundamentally change the way they interact with the NCR, however their main reasons for warring with them would ultimately remain the same. Sallow saw New Vegas as the perfect place to set his Rome, and I agree with him. In this version, the Legion is fighting for a homeland instead of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ everything that moves. Libshit NCR would still see Roma Nova as "misogynistic tyranny". This works to Rome's advantage because we still want a war, and we want it justified.

As Caesar (or equivalent ruling body) Rome would begin introductions to both House and NCR with a laurel of peace, while sharpening its swords on the side. Hoover Dam contains two precious resources, a huge fresh water basin and electricity. Civilization requires both. History hates aggressors in conflicts. He who draws first blood is guilty of barbarism in the court of public opinion.

Taking some inspiration from our current illegitimate government, everything must be done to provoke the NCR into attacking Rome first. We want to control where and when they hit us as to prevent the amount of damage they really do. Ideally we want the NCR to attack Vegas (or at least make it appear like they attacked) in such a fashion that the people come running to the Legion to rescue them.

Meanwhile, subtly suggest to Legionaires the corruption and obvious inferiority of the NCR's plutocracy. Once the NCR attacks (real or not), Rome will have the moral high ground to retaliate. A counter propaganda campaign would be launched on the people of Vegas. NCR would be painted as the greedy little goblins they are, seeking to plunder the people of their hard work and their riches while keeping all the electricity and water for themselves. Rome will vow to drive these invaders out with the added bonus of uplifting everyone out of their impoverished state. A lot more appealing than, "surrender or get stuck on a powerline post."

Secondly, we want the Desert Rangers on our side. Now that the Legion isn't a bunch of football hooligans they're in a better position to appeal to the Rangers' sense of honor. In this version of events the Rangers are an independent faction like BoS or Boomers and must be enticed with the help of the Courier. Convince the Rangers the NCR are the real tyrants, and that Rome will uplift everyone's lives, not just fill bureaucrats' pockets.

Roma Nova should keep its promises to its allies. By operating in a manner like the real Rome, they could potentially turn the Kings, Khans, Brotherhood, Boomers, etc. without even having to fight or destroy them. "Rome will respect your tribal identity if you pay tribute and help us drive the NCR invaders from 'our' territory." Again, the idea is to sell the idea of Rome as a superior culture to the NCR. As THE most adapt culture that can survive and thrive in a hostile nuclear wasteland.

The unwashed masses will gladly sell themselves into bondage for security and comfort (it happens everyday), Rome can and should exploit this.



Its not a crucifixion! Its a safety spike. For your safety. Look how Safe he is. Boy golly. I've never seen a safer man.

While House shouldn't be underestimated, as we've seen in canon, removing him from the board is as simple as storming the Lucky 38 and capping his ass. Perhaps send "Lanius" to do it, further bolstering "his" legend. House would never agree to serve the Legion, civilized or not. He himself is a tinpot tyrant and must be stamped out if Rome is going to install itself in Vegas. Securing control of his Securitron Army would magnify our power by a factor of one hundred. As would getting a hold of that KilSat at HELIOS One.

In Canon, the Courier can ally with the Legion, but never becomes part of the Legion truly. They put his face on the money as reward for helping them which is pretty cool, but Nova Roma would take it one step beyond. Like the Stormcloaks, after proving themselves to be a worthy ally, the Courier would be formally invited to join Rome as a citizen and soldier, not simply a contractor. That is to say, made to swear allegiance to New Rome and the vision of re-creating it.

He/She would be made part of the Frumentari, and given a special mentor companion to watch him and shape him into a true Legionnaire...Ulysses. Since this version of the Legion is (mostly) sane, Ulysses doesn't go awol. He becomes instead the Legion friendly companion he was meant to be. Hanging out with him he'd explain to the player the Legion's martial and philosophical ideals, while voicing his take on the whole thing in that iconic, long winded soliloquy format we all know him for. The Courier might even be hired to become another Lanius. Swag Bull Powered Armor is a suitable reward for a Legion player.



POWER AXXXE

The Big MT is a treasure trove of weapons and technology that cannot be ignored. Another thing that bugged me about canon Vegas is how you couldn't really intergrate what you found there with the factions you join. Of course, canon Legion would never approve making use of Big MT, because they're stupid luddites. Roma Nova on the other hand would exploit this image of stupid luddites, to make themselves seem weaker than they are. All the while harvesting Big MT's sweet, delcious, science.

The question of the Sierra Madre is a resounding yes! Its gold would make an excellent backing for the Legion's coin. Add to that its wealth of technology. A melee Courier can easily cleave through ghost people. A small army should have no trouble storming the gates, or even a crack team of Frumentari. The horror of the Divide came about from Ulysses going AWOL. A sane Legion would not give him cause to desert. I imagine there would be little reason to explore it, in spite of what we know to be lurking there. Rome might send a couple of prospectors, but no more than that.



It's not stupid! It's advaaaaaaanced!

Last but certainly not least is what becomes of the Legion after Roma Nova is established at Vegas. The Legion's other fatal flaw is it raises up its men to be bloodthirsty warriors, and nothing else. Where are the scholars? Who grows the food? Right from the beginning, Legionaries need to be taught to read, if only so they can come to understand and further appreciate the glory of Rome. Tying into paying the workers wages, Rome invests in uplifting its citizens over glorifying its god-king.

When the Legion conquers a tribe, Caesar tells them it was not he that has accomplished this task, but "You, the strong capable men of Rome who have done this heroic act! I am but your humble servant!" Sallow talked a big game about doing this, but failed to actually follow through on this idea. Educate the soldiers into being tradesmen, gunsmiths, farmers, shopkeepers, etc. for after their soldiering is done. Raise up scholars and sages put them to work in Big MT. Show the wasteland that Rome has a brain as well as brawn.

The whole of Vegas shall be reconstructed, spreading out from the Strip, into Freeside, and beyond. Every piece of gambling equipment will be broken down and repurposed. Camp Maccaren will be built up as a military fortress. Future Legionaries will be trained there. The Fiends will be purged from their petulant nest, their bodies crucified on the outskirts of the city for all to see. The four major casinos are glorified hotels, lots of empty useless space. The big question would be how these buildings should be renovated to suit the new seat of government. I see two options. Leaving them as is, and making minor alterations to reflect Rome. Whittling down steel girders to give buildings the appearance of neo-classical architecture. It would be a lot faster and cheaper at any rate. Personally though? I'd like to deconstruct each casino, reusing the material to construct whole new buildings. A vast Roman citadel, with red bull banners flying everywhere, drapped from every fixture. The same clean up efforts would be taken into Freeside, transforming them from slums to works of art.

Rome built roads that survived even unto today. So shall it be for Roma Nova. Their networks will connect the disjointed cities of the Legion. From Utah to Colorado, all roads will lead to Rome.

Caesar's Legion was all about Edward Sallow. Kill him and it dies. The NCR fights for caps. House fights for caps. YOU fought for caps. Roma Nova is dedicated to the idea of Rome. This Legion fights for the recreation of Rome. Rome belongs to the Legion and the Legion belongs to Rome. Nova Roma, a disciplined, warrior society that can meet the challenges posed by a post apocalyptic wasteland, and thrive in it.

You know, long term stability at all costs. I think I read that in a book somewhere.


Ave, True to Rome!