each day you must dedicate no less than 4 hours to praise Ax and be thankful for the clothes you wear, the home you live in, the sun, the moon, your job, your family, your friends, the food and water you drink, the fields and the oceans, the clouds and the wind, the trees and the animals, and most beneficent of all, righteous wrestling games made by some british dude. these are all mere amenities bestowed upon your soul from Whack Ax and should be treated as a privilege.

those who would go against the will of Whack Ax or does not give sufficient praise deserve nothing short of instantaneous castration. this duty belongs to you, so be prepared to deliver the Ax's judgement upon all heretics.

Ax be with you.