Hello there, welcome to how 2 coach! Here, I will teach you how to play your favorite crazy, cheeseburger-loving, zombie killing madman, coach! Let's begin.

Step 0.5: Read this guide VERY CAREFULLY, 6 TIMES

Step 1: Buy a Cheeseburger, from anywhere! Preferably, from In-N-Out! You need a cheeseburger to be Coach!

Step 2: Throw away your burger! It wasn't good enough, Coach only eats the finest of cheeseburgers from around the world!

Step 3: Get the rights to the Burger Tank fast food chain name, and make your own burger tank! All you have to do is buy land, hire builders, construct the foundation, make the walls (reinforce them), pay the builders for their work, hire cooks, hire cashiers, hire a manager, hire a janitor, get supplies, and serve your customers! Easy as pie!

Step 4: Now that you have your own Burger Tank, get a burger from there! This will be hard, good luck!

Step 5: Pick the popular character "Coach", and load into any campaign. If you are not him, scream at the person who took him, flip him off, and leave.

Step 6: Once you are coach in a game, acquire a Chrome Shotgun with incendiary ammo! Make sure it has this upgrade at all times!

Step 7: Shoot all the zombies with your shotgun! This will cook their flesh, and you can harvest it, because zombie meat is close enough to cow meat, right?

Step 8: Shoot all of your friends for more burger meat, except Nick. Nick is rich, and can fund your burger empire! If he doesn't fund you anymore, or he runs out of money, then you can cook him as well!

Step 9: Once you have killed everyone on earth except your employees and yourself, start eating all the cheeseburgers you have acquired from all this killing! You've earned it, champ!

Hello again! If you have finished reading this guide, then you are ready to play Coach Left 4 Dead 2! Good job!