You may have heard of Nazeem, the great Blight of all things. They say he cannot be stopped-- that the moment he opens his smug mouth your fate is sealed. Fortunately for the good of your sanity, this is untrue. Through years of tireless research, delving deep into many layers of madness, I have unraveled a sacred art through which one may expel Nazeem from any premises he may infect. Be warned, the art of cleansing His Smugness is not something to be taken lightly, lest you find yourself irrevocably lost in deep madness.

First comes the age-old practice of the Fury spell. Simply cast it upon Nazeem and watch him murder his own wife before going on a senseless rampage, ultimately being put down by a Whiterun guard. Alternatively, cast Fury on his wife so she instead kills him. Or if you're feeling particularly spicy, get him to chase you to a giant camp, and watch as they launch him into the sky faster than my school lunch after I "trip" on a fateful day 1968.

Test Nazeem's own bravado. Challenge him to trial by combat and fight as real men should. Strip yourselves naked and fist fight on top of a church or some place sacred. Emerge victorious, and teabag his corpse. Or, make him fight him age-old nemesis, Heimskr (or rather Heimskr's defiled, reanimated corpse after you cast Undead Thrall on him). Even better, summon Durnehviir and make him fight a dragon!

Wabbajack. Wabbajack wabbajack wabbajack wabbajack! Wabbajack!

Spawn camping. Locate Nazeem and his wife's room in the Drunken Huntsman and surrounded their bed with elemental runes. Hilarity ensues.

Here's one I found on the internet! Paralyze him via poisoned arrow or reverse pickpocket, then place a ring of water breathing and very heavy materials on him. Drop him in a lake. Yikes.

"How did we get here?" Take every drug, alcohol, and alchemical substance in the game, strip down naked, and shank Nazeem to death with a fork. Then cannibalize him. All morals are out the window when Nazeem is involved.

This one is rather theoretical. I am fairly sure it is possible to mod the game to add Telekenisis damage to objects effected by Shouts for a limited time. With this factored in, fill a building with bladed items (preferably forks, if possible), place Nazeem in said building, and Fus Ro Dah.

This next part is provided by a commenter on one of my other guides, one SnowGryph (really sorry if you'd prefer anonymity, just tell me if you do). It is as follows, and I quote "Get Alduin to spawn at the Throat of the World. Use the werewolf multi-equip glitch to have 5 amulets of Talos equiped for 100% shout cooldown reduction. Now head to Whiterun, save, and use the slow time shout. Locate Nazeem and Fus Ro Juggle him outside of the City Walls. Leave the city, wait for a few hours, and re-enter. Locate Nazeem again and use him as the ball for Fus Ro Golf. Now re-load the save you made. Get Nazeem to attack you and make him leave the city. Now jebait him to the Throat of the World and let Alduin burn him to death, but make sure he doesnt die just yet. After killing Alduin launch Nazeem from the top of the mountain. Find his corpse and use Undead Thrall on it. Take him back to Whiterun. Spawn a bajillion copies of Heimskr and force him to stand and listen until the game crashes." A true work of art.

And my personal method: Kill him with a soul-steal weapon and take his soul. Resurrect him with Dead Thrall. Use his soulgem to enchant a weapon with Soul Steal. Make him use this weapon to kill his own wife. Steal his wife's soul and enchant a weapon with it. Make Nazeem forever your slave duel wielding weapons containing both his wife's and his own soul. Proceed to kill Nazeem again and again in the most cruel and unusual ways possible. Take the weapon containing his soul and kill Nazeem using himself.

Sadly couldn't find a mod that allows you to default dance on people's corpses.


I also have another guide if that tickles your boat. And before you ask, no, I cannot be bothered to find the link :)