Double jump! - Don't start the game for a minute and a half!
As the description states, simply wait on the title screen for 90 seconds.



Super KaDuper Alley Ooper Sure - Restart the Game!
Another straightforward achievement right off the bat! Pause the game with the Esc key and confirm you want to restart the game.



I'm a Distraction! - Make the music stop!
In Blipston (the starting level), tap the down movement key to wiggle on the three Squidlits making music to the tempo of the music to interrupt their play session.


Loved by All - Wiggle at all the squidlits!
See the Loved by All section for further details.


All Shark No Fight - Beat the sharkerfly in less than 5 seconds
Approach the Sharkerfly at full health, hold the Spacebar or jump equivalent and get as close as possible. This will kill it fast enough to net you the achievement while still living.



The Tiniest Squid that Ever Did! - Continue to ink after beating the sharkerfly!
Very simple, but easy to miss. Following the Sharkerfly fight, simply tap the spacebar during the flying cutscene.


Squidlit inna Box! - Find Riverjack!
After the first castle section, and just before Castletown, climb the tree outside, and jump to your left. Tapping the jump button will allow you to hover with your ink, into a small alcove housing Riverjack - the first Squidlit sent on this journey.


The Squishy Squirmy Science Squidlit OF SCIENCE! - Become a squidlit repellant connoisseur!
After the Oonebilu/ru boss fight, you'll find yourself in Castletown. Talk to Pyrethrin, who is developing squidlit repellent. Let him test his 3 formulas on you for the achievement.


Comprehensive Reader - Don't let Grimwar summon anything!
During the Grimwar boss fight, use the following visual cues to know which part of the inside text to target and black out with your ink: (Hover over each image for the description.)


Sharing is Caring - Feed all of your muffins to Swkit Skwot!
During the battle against Skwit Skwot, allow yourself to be swiped by Skwit Skwot (God Emperor) 3 times and lose a life.


Skwit Swkot appreciated that. - Hug Skwit Skwot!
Following the final boss fight, choose the first dialogue option to hug Skwit Skwot, God Emperor.


Squeaky Clean! - Don't get inked during the credits!
Rather self explanatory, avoid the falling ink droplets while you fly home during the credits sequence!


Yeah! That's right! You did it! You're a good squidlit! - Continue to wiggle on the final screen!
Following the credits sequence, press down to wiggle among your peers.

Loved by All - Wiggle at all the squidlits!
One of the more complicated achievements. To unlock this, you need to interact with every Squidlit NPC in the game by Wiggling with your down movement key once. The Squidlits will respond with the same gesture and a slight sound cue. The required NPCs are spreadout through the entire game, but their locations are all listed here:
Level 0: Blipston

Level 1:

Level 2:



Level 4:

Level 5:
(See the Squidlit inna Box! Achievement above for further information on finding Riverjack)


That's it! Those are all the interactive Squidlit NPCs! Though, if you look hard enough you just might find something strange in the further reaches of the levels...

Stale Muffins - Complete the game without stress eating a muffin!
Beat the entire game start-to-finish without taking a hit! Below is a video of this being performed, there's not much advice I can give besides good luck- definitely doable!


This game canonically takes 3 days! - Beat the game in less than 12 minutes.



The planet is spinning too fast! - Beat the game in less than 11 minutes



You're gonna fling the squidlits off! - Beat the game in less than 10 minutes 30 seconds



Oop. There They Go! - Beat the game in less than 10 minutes (Wow!!!)



As these are all mostly trial and error, there's no real definitive guide to achieving these, however, there is a fairly decent introduction to faster strats by Nora Meld on youtube. As you won't need to stream any of your attempts, my link takes you straight to the in-game strats.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIWxNQC3yEo&list=PLn1FrJSoMjojv7MpbNYzWc3pIq7nkUYdq