Traitor, never befriend this guy

Actually pretty normal (unlike someone ↓↓↓↓ )

Just me and my 💕daddy💕, hanging out I got pretty hungry🍆 so I started to pout 😞 He asked if I was down ⬇for something yummy 😍🍆 and I asked what and he said he'd give me his 💦cummies!💦 Yeah! Yeah!💕💦 I drink them!💦 I slurp them!💦 I swallow them whole💦 😍 It makes 💘daddy💘 😊happy😊 so it's my only goal... 💕💦😫Harder daddy! Harder daddy! 😫💦💕 1 cummy💦, 2 cummy💦💦, 3 cummy💦💦💦, 4💦💦💦💦 I'm 💘daddy's💘 👑princess 👑but I'm also a ♥♥♥♥♥! 💟 He makes me feel squishy💗!He makes me feel good💜! 💘💘💘He makes me feel everything a little should!~ 💘💘💘 👑💦💘Wa-What!💘💦👑

♥♥♥♥♥ are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω＼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3” hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!（＾ワ＾） and the most adorable thing ever is when sperm-sama comes out but theyre rlly shy so u have to work hard!!(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ but when penis-kun and sperm-sama meet and theyre blushing and all like "uwaaa~!" (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ: ･ﾟhehehe~penis-kun is so adorable (●´Д｀●)・

How I look at bro when he puts his schlong on the table and says "dinners ready". "mmm, yummy, scrumptious, appetizing, delectable, delightful, distinctive, enjoyable, enticing, exquisite, heavenly, luscious, plecan, pleasant, rich, savory, spicy, sweet, tasty, tempting, yummy"

Stop dropping your phone on the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ train
Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our ♥♥♥♥♥ to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is.
For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ train.