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报告翻译问题

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I invited him to my house for a Halo LAN party. He said he was coming so I was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, I pushed him against the wall and started nibbling his ear, he felt my hard ♥♥♥♥ push against his leg. Turns out he wasn't gay. Don't trust this guy.
I took him back to the balcony and released him so that he could tell all his friends how I humiliated him and pounded a gaping hole in his ass prison style.
.........,•✯´.........´*
.......♥*.............. __/\__
.......*♥............… *-:¦:-*
...¸.•✫..............…/.•*•.\
...~`,`~................... |
¸....✫.................... *•*
´¸...*♥..´¸..............*♥♫♥*
´¸¸♥*...................✯•♫•♥•*
´¸.•✫ ............... *♥•♫•♫♥*
~`,`~.............. ✯♥•♦♫♥•♥*.
`.✫`.............. *♥☺♥•♥•☺♥*.
●/................✯♥•♥♠♫♥#♥•♥*..
/▌...............*♥♫•♥♫•♥♫♥•♫♥*
/ \...................... ╬╬╬╬
•*´❄`*•.¸.•*´❄`*•.¸.•*´❄`*•.¸.•*´❄`*•.¸.•*´❄`*•.¸.•*´❄`*
(☆*✦✦ℳerry ℭhristmas & A ℋappy 2019✦✦ *☆ )
*•.✩.•*´*•.✩.•*´*•.✩.•*´*•.✩.•*´*•.✩.•*´*•.✩.•*´*•..✩.•*
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Step 1: Highlight all numbers.
Step 2: Click ctrl F.
Step 3: Click 8 once.
Step 4: You'll see what it says
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╚═╝░░╚═══╝╚═╝░╚═════╝░░╚═════╝░╚══════╝╚═╝░░╚═╝
……..|::::::::|: : : : : : : : : _„„--~'''''~-„: : : : : '|
……..'|:::::::,': : : : : : :_„„-: : : : : : : : ~--„_: |'
………|::::::|: : : „--~~'''~~''''''''-„…_..„~''''''''''''¯¯|
………|:::::,':_„„-|: : :_„---~: : :|''¯¯''''|: ~---„_: |
…….. ,~-,_/'': : : |: _ o__): : |: : : :|_o__): \.. |
……../,'-,: : : : : ''-,_______,-'': : : : ''-„______\
……..\: :|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :„: : : : :-,: : : : : :\
………',:': : : : : : : : : : : : :,-'__: : : :_',: : : : ,'
……….'-,-': : : : : :___„-: : :'': : ¯''~~'': ': : ~--|
………….|: ,: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :|
………….'|: \: : : : : : : : -,„_„„-~~--~--„_: : : |
…………..|: \: : : : : : : : : : : :-------~: : : : : |
I tell ya hwat, you just got visited by the friendly propane man
If you don't post this in 5 comment section you'll suffer pro-pain
`/\\\\\\\\
//┏\\\\\\\\
γ三ヽLリリリリリリリリリリリリ」 GET YO RAMEN FOR ONLY FIVE DOLLA
{ニフニ}| ∧,,∧ |
{ニァニ}|(´・ω・)∬∬
{ニボニ}|(つ┌───┐
ヽ三ノΓ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄|
`┗┛| |