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报告翻译问题

Wishing you and your closest a happy holiday, full of happiness and many smiles!
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-\v/---------- \v/
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//_\\_____ //_\\
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WE TRUE SCHLOMOS
WE JEW TOGETHER
WE GET HOLOCAUSTED TOGETHER
Send this SHEKEL to everyone you care about including me if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get 6,000,000 you're A TRUE SCHLOMO
He told me that they pray in a community centre, but when I got there it was just him.
He then told me that they were all in the washroom, and I went inside with him.
When we got inside, he started taking his pants off.
I immediately ran away and contacted the police.
Turns out he was part of some gay cult.
STAY AWAY FROM THIS MAN!
"MISTER LINGUINI!! MISTER LINGUINI!! TAKE A HANDFUL OF THIS WEENIE!!! ".
That guy snapped one day, 2 years after I left, he allegedly sniffed high quantities of glue in front of the class, obviously he got fired.
But let's get to the point, send me feet pics ASAP
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Step 1: Highlight the text ;
Step 2: Press Ctrl+F ;
Step 3: Press 6 afterwards ;
Step 4: Enjoy the truth :)
| Critical Error [-][口][×]|
| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄|
| Windows has detected your penis is small!
| Is that true ?
| ______ ______ _____ |
| |Yes | |Maybe | | Help | |
|  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ |
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
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╚══════╝░╚════╝░╚══════╝╚══════╝
Happy New Year!
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####__________________________ ____###
░█▀▀ ░░█▀▀ ░░█▀▀ ░░█▀█ ░░ ☭☆☆☆
░█ ░░░░█ ░░░░█ ░░░░█▀▀ ░░ ░ ☭☆☆
░▀▀▀ ░░▀▀▀ ░░▀▀▀ ░░▀ ░░░░ ░ ░ ☭☆
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░░░Respect this man░░
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░░░Because he is ░░░░░░
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░░░+++++REP+++++░░░░
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Knows what he's doing, insane game sense, skilled, very friendly, with great sense of humor, overall awesome guy