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⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⣾⠉⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠊⠉⣧⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢀⣔⠙⡄⠈⡆⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⠀⢠⠃⢠⠋⣢⡀⠀
⣀⣌⠈⡆⣗⣚⠯⠚⠘⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠃⠓⠽⣓⣺⢰⡁⣱⣀
⡇⢈⣝⠖⠉⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⠲⡏⡁⢨
⠘⡺⠁⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢉⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇
⠈⡄⠀⠀⠀⠘⠄⠀⢀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⡀⠀⠠⠃⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃
⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠠⠎⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠱⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠆⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡈
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠃
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠆⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜

So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I ♥♥♥♥ my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in ♥♥♥♥♥♥ liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I told my dog to stop laying massive cacas on the carpet and it looked up at me and softly whispered "criticism, like rain, may dampen the spirit; yet, from such showers, the soul's garden blooms ever brighter."

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hey