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报告翻译问题

i've spent a long time on the computer, and have seen a lot of people grow out of it. i miss all of them, including you. wish you were still around, but i know you're probably living pretty well right now, so that fact makes me happy still. :)
and even though you've been gone for years, i can't bring myself to remove you from my list, hoping one day you'll log back in. maybe one day. miss you, shelly.
The last time I played on PC was April of 2014, just before I started to work in my field I studied. I can't believe it's been 3 years ago, it feels like a decade. I really feel I stopped playing because of personal issues, it's something very complex I can't explain to you now. I look back at all the good times I had here, the great people I met, the things I learned and the fun I had. I thank you all for this, and I can't believe it has taken me this long to realize it. It saddens me because I feel I have lost something that was once me. But I tell you this though, I believe one day I will be back, sooner or later. I will be back. Thank you all.
-signed Coke.
-signed Coke.
-signed coke.
thankyou.
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BILLY MAYS IS WATCHING YOU PEE
1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.
2. You havent played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/XboxLive/Steam/MySpace/Facebook.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
9. You were too busy to notice number five.
10. You actually looked back up to check if there was a number five.
11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
12. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. You know you did