Ｍａ'ａｍ，　ｔｈａｔ　ｉｓ　ａｎ　ｅｌｅｖｅｎ　ｐｏｕｎｄ
ｗｈｏｌｅ - ｓｌａｂ　ｏｆ　ｄｅｌｉ　ｈａｍ．　

Ｉｔ　ｈａｓ　ｎｏ　ｂｏｎｅｓ，　ｆａｔ，　
ｏｒ　ｃｏｎｎｅｃｔｉｖｅ　ｔｉｓｓｕｅ．　

Ｉｔ　ｉｓ　ａｎ　ａｍａｌｇａｍａｔｉｏｎ　
ｏｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｍｅａｔ　ｏｆ　ｓｅｖｅｒａｌ　ｐｉｇｓ，　

ｅｍｕｌｓｉｆｉｅｄ，　ｌｉｑｕｅｆｉｅｄ，　ｓｔｒａｉｎｅｄ，　

ａｎｄ　ｕｌｔｉｍａｔｅｌｙ　ｉｎｅｘｏｒａｂｌｙ　ｊｏｉｎｅｄ　
ｉｎ　ａｎ　ｕｎｈｏｌｙ　ｍｅａｔ　ｏｂｅｌｉｓｋ．　

Ｇｏｄ　ｈａｄ　ｎｏ　ｈａｎｄ　
ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｃｒｅａｔｉｏｎ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｉｓ　ａｂｈｏｒｒｅｎｃｅ．　

Ｔｈｅ　ｆａｃｔ　ｔｈａｔ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｈａｍ　ｍｏｎｏｌｉｔｈ　ｅｘｉｓｔｓ
ｐｒｏｖｅｓ　ｔｈａｔ　Ｇｏｄ　ｉｓ　ｅｉｔｈｅｒ　ｉｍｐｏｔｅｎｔ　
ｔｏ　ａｌｔｅｒ　Ｈｉｓ　ｕｎｉｖｅｒｓｅ . . .

ｏｒ　ｉｇｎｏｒａｎｔ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｅ　ｈｏｒｒｏｒｓ　
ｔａｋｉｎｇ　ｐｌａｃｅ　ｉｎ　ｈｉｓ　ｋｉｎｇｄｏｍ .

Ｔｈｉｓ　ｐｒｉｓｍ　ｏｆ　ｐｏｒｋ　
ｉｓ　ｍｏｒｅ　ｔｈａｎ　ｄｅｌｉ　ｍｅａｔ．　

Ｉｔ　ｉｓ　ａ　ｐｈｙｓｉｃａｌ　ｄｅｃｌａｒａｔｉｏｎ　
ｏｆ　ｍａｎｋｉｎｄ＇ｓ　ｃｏｎｔｅｍｐｔ　
ｆｏｒ　ｔｈｅ　ｎａｔｕｒａｌ　ｏｒｄｅｒ．　

Ｉｔ　ｉｓ　ｈｕｂｒｉｓ　ｍａｎｉｆｅｓｔ．

...We also have a lower sodium variety, if you'd prefer that.

Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.

⢀⡋⣡⣴⣶⣶⡀⠄⠄⠙⢿I WANT⣴⣿⣿⣿⢃⣤⣄⣀⣥⣿⣿⠄
⢸⣇⠻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⢀⣠⡌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⢸⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣬⣙⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿TO⡿⣿⣿⡍⠄⠄⢀⣤⣄⠉⠋⣰
⣖⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣿⣿⡷⠶⠶⢿⣿⣿⠇⢀⣤
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿♥♥♥♥⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣥⣴⣿⡗
⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿YOU ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄
⣦⣌⣛⣻⣿⣿⣧⠙⠛⠛⡭⠅⠒⠦⠭⣭⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄
⣿⣿LIKE⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠈⢋⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣾⠃⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿AN⣿⠄⣴⣿⣶⣄⠄⣴⣶⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄
⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⡀⣾ANIMAL⠛⠁⠄
⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠞⢿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣾⣦⡙⠻⣷⣾⣿⠃⠿⠋⠁⠄

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To everyone you want to ♥♥♥♥ like an animal

+rep super cool guy knows where to sell a salad glove and an ipod when wife dies and no job