My life had been falling apart. But then it happened. Something changed my life. It was just another Tuesday evening. I was lounging on my Transformers Blow-Up Couch watching the 13th season of Naruto Shippuden while eagerly waiting for my caretaker to bring me my second batch of bagel bites of the day. Then, it happened. I glanced downward. An irregularly shaped trail of Cheeto dust was strewn across my bare chest. It took what felt like a lifetime to decipher, but I have finally decoded the path by tracing its shape over thousands of maps around the world. The Cheeto deities have spoken to me. I am now embarking on a new adventure to Liberia. I know not what awaits me, but I cannot pass on this opportunity, as it is a chance to validate my seemingly futile existence and prove my worth to my newfound holy Cheeto deities. I must say goodbye, but good luck and safe travels, old chum.