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报告翻译问题

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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are
https://discord.com/invite/RtqV4v5VUV
I have personally reached out to you because of how your argument has affected me. Thus, I would like to go out of my way to congratulate you on developing such a powerful and convincing claim. Your wording and techniques used to enforce your argument are that of an English Major who aced Harvard. Truly, your opinions delivered through your words cannot be outmatched.
And while I see the thought, time, and serious dedication you have developed into a masterpiece truly ahead of our time, I hate to be the barer of rather unfortunate news. It has come to my attention that I have recently been in contact with your female parental figure, more commonly know as your “mother.” To be more specific, I have engaged in large amounts of physical intimacy with her, one could almost refer to as “sexual intercourse.” I apologize for the inconvenience this have may caused you.
Sincerely,
JR
I have personally reached out to you because of how your argument has affected me. Thus, I would like to go out of my way to congratulate you on developing such a powerful and convincing claim. Your wording and techniques used to enforce your argument are that of an English Major who aced Harvard. Truly, your opinions delivered through your words cannot be outmatched.
And while I see the thought, time, and serious dedication you have developed into a masterpiece truly ahead of our time, I hate to be the barer of rather unfortunate news. It has come to my attention that I have recently been in contact with your female parental figure, more commonly know as your “mother.” To be more specific, I have engaged in large amounts of physical intimacy with her, one could almost refer to as “sexual intercourse.” I apologize for the inconvenience this have may caused you.
Sincerely,
Lance
We have noticed you haven't logged in for 2 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Gay section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon!
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We have noticed you haven't logged in for 2 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Gay section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon!
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You've had too much wine, that's amore
(That's amore)
Bells will ring (Ting-a-ling-a-ling), ting-a-ling-a-ling
(And you'll sing "Vita bella") Vita bella, vita bella
Hearts will play (Tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay)
Like a gay tarantella
Lucky Fella
When the stars make you drool just like a pasta e fasule, that's amore
(That's amore)
When you dance down the street with
A cloud at your feet, you're in love
When you walk in a dream, but you know you're not dreaming signore
Scusami, but you see, back in old Napoli, that's amore (Amore)
That's amore
When boy meets girl, here's what they say
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore
When the world seems to shine like
You've had too much wine, that's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling
Ting-a-ling-a-ling, and you'll sing, "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay
Tippy-tippy-tay, like a gay tarantella
When the stars make you drool just like a pasta e fasule, that's amore
When you dance down the street with
A cloud at your feet, you're in love
When you walk in a dream but you know you're not dreaming, signore
Scusami, but you see, back in old Napoli, that's amore
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore
(That's amore)
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