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报告翻译问题
都没你的甜
dou mei ni de tian
八月正午的阳光
ba yue zhengwu de yangguang
都没你耀眼
dou mei ni yaoyan
热爱 105 °C的你
re’ai 105 °C de ni
滴滴清纯的蒸馏水
di di qingchun de zhengliushui
你不知道你有多可爱
ni bu zhidao ni you duo ke’ai
跌倒后会傻笑着再站起来
diedao hou hui shaxiaozhe zai zhan qilai
당신의 두뇌가 마비될 때, 당신은 그것을 정신적 동결이라고 부를 수 있습니다
이 사람들이 말을 너무 많이 하면 슬로우 모션으로 바꿔, yeah
바다 속 우주인이 된 기분
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻
⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
:(
If you aren't familiar with the "Major Tom", it's because it's a thing I (hopefully) came up with. It's a form of "auto-erotic asphyxiation" by using gravity.
Basically, you jack off normally; but before you nut, you squat down as low as you can to the ground and breathe short shallow breaths while still whacking it. This part is called "Getting in the shuttle."
As you nut, you jump up from that squatting position as fast as you possibly ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can and hold your breath. This is considered "Take off."
This is a technique that should be performed only by professionals, in a controlled environment. I, however, am not a professional despite creating the technique. You see, by hyperventilating and jumping up, you are literally cutting your brain off from oxygen. No oxygen = no consciousness.
When I "Took off" I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ jumped up at Mach 50 and must've ripped a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hole in the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ space-time continuum. Because the next thing I know I was laying on the ground with my ♥♥♥♥ out, covered in space juices from my trip around the sun.
Before I could even pick myself up off the ground, my mom rushed into my room to see if I was okay. She heard my crash landing. This part is called "Disappointing your mother."
You can just imagine the scene she walked into.
I'm currently writing this in my room right now, and I don't plan on leaving it anytime soon until I can think of what to say to her. If there is anything to say at all.
TL;DR: I always told my mom I wanted to be an astronaut when I was little, but not in the way she thought.
..........(>•ㅅ•<) My NAAAAAME is
＿ノ ヽ ノ＼＿ Gyoubu Masataka
/ `/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ ヽ ONIWA!
( (三ヽ人 / |
| ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ ノAs I breathe,
ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿_／ you will NOT pass
｜( 王 ﾉ〈 the castle gate
/ﾐ`ー―彡\
I won't open any more windows during action phase don't worry :^)
Then I swallow it, and the aftertaste is so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ amazing, it lasts all day and all night. Basically, scat is so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ good, and I love to eat it, especially when it's slimy and wet as ♥♥♥♥.
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