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报告翻译问题

I’m 17 years old male virgin, i’m fit (going to gym and, running) and i never had a girlfriend before, my best friend ♥♥♥♥♥♥ 5 girls, and my other friends have relationship, but not me of course, and they don’t even help me to get girlfriend, all they say to me is - “just don’t think about girls you gonna find one day” - they are annoying, i can’t wait to get girlfriend i want to get now. Even ugly girls are not attracted to me.
..._.....____________________, ,
....../ `---___________----_____] = = = = = D
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//
WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are :^)
…………………….…………...„--~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).'\
………….…………………… („-~~-„¸_….,/ì'Ì
…….…………………….¸„-^"¯( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ¸-¯"¯/'
……………………¸„„-^"¯ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡'\¸„„,-"
**¯¯¯'^^~-„„„----~^*'"¯ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡¸-"
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)„-^" : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡„-"
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ¸„-^¯
( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ¸„„-^¯
:.' : : '\ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)¸„„-~"
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°):"-„""***/*'ì¸'¯
:.' ͡° ͜ʖ ͡:"-„ ( ͡° ͜ʖ\ )
.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° \,
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ 'Ì
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ/
"-„_::::_„-*__„„~"