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报告翻译问题

Guy:no this is fun =]]
Girl:no it not please its to scary
Guy:then tell me u love me
Girl:i love u slwo down
Guy:now give me a big hug
SHe gave him a big hug
Guy:can u take of my hellmit && put it on urself its botherign me
in teh newspaper the next day a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. too people were on it only on survived. the truth was tat halfway down the road the guy reelized that the breaks where borke he didnt want the girl to know insted he had her huged him and tell him she loved him one last time. ten he had her put his hellmit on so that she would life even if it meant that he would die if u would do the same for the person u love copyy ths in ur profile
|^^^^^^^^^^^^|
|DONG TRUCK | '|""";.., ___.
|_..._...______===|= _|__|..., ] |
"(@ )'(@ )""""*|(@ )(@ )*****(@
ONCE YOU'VE BEEN HIT, YOU HAVE TO HIT 8 PEOPLE! IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU'LL KNO YOUR REALLI A DODONGO! IF YOU BRAKE THE cHAIN, YOULL BE CURSED WITH UN*DONGINESS FOR 10 YEARS SO PASS IT HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS A DODONGO"