sad n' lonely
«...I felt above them – I was put below. I became envious. I was ready to love the whole world - nobody understood me: and I learned to hate. My colorless youth flowed in the struggle with myself and the light; my best feelings, fearing ridicule, I buried in the depths of my heart: they died there. I told the truth – they did not believe me: I began to deceive. And then despair was born in my breast – not the despair that is treated with the barrel of a gun, but cold, impotent despair, covered with courtesy and a good-natured smile. »

«...I felt above them – I was put below. I became envious. I was ready to love the whole world - nobody understood me: and I learned to hate. My colorless youth flowed in the struggle with myself and the light; my best feelings, fearing ridicule, I buried in the depths of my heart: they died there. I told the truth – they did not believe me: I began to deceive. And then despair was born in my breast – not the despair that is treated with the barrel of a gun, but cold, impotent despair, covered with courtesy and a good-natured smile. »

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