happy new year <3

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life is boring, might as well be dead

can i drown in your period blood?

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The most beautiful word:

Your mom.

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You look like the flower in May (X)
You look like your mom (√)

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German class 101
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oh it's super easy, just roll your key board like:
SUhfadshfklajsofhauiuisdfjoadsjfkhjadlisdhgfoiuasfwqj
sdhjaosdjaoiureajekljdlasdjpoapo
asdjasodhaofha

Trust me, it's no diffrenrence from actual German language to people who don't speak German

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What does your fav alcohol say about you!
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Tequila : You are Mexican and gay!
Beer : You are fat and gay!
Vodka : You are Russian and gay!
Whisky : You are alcoholic and gay!
Gin : You think you are classic but you are still gay!
Sake : You are Japanese but you are into gay hentai!
Wine : You are French and gay!
Rum : You damn pirate and gay!
Brandy : You hate pirates but you are gay too!

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If you are in your 20s, 30s maybe even 40s, and you haven't seen what your butt----h0le looks like, chances are you are a failure !
But do not fear, Im here to rescue y'all!

-----
Step 1: Take off your pants
Step2: Stand in front of a mirror and turn your back on it.
Step3: Look back in the mirror.

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Alternative Style:
Step2: Use your phone and take a picture.!
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You are welcome!
and remember to send your friends both the picture and the method!
dont wanna leave them being failures do you?

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No time to explain！
The world will in end in 2030
if you don't legally change your name to
Louis George Maurice Adolphe Roche Albert Abel Antonio Alexandre Noë Jean Lucien Daniel Eugène Joseph-le-brun Joseph-Barême Thomas Thomas Thomas-Thomas Pierre Arbon Pierre-Maurel Barthélemi Artus Alphonse Bertrand Dieudonné Emanuel Josué Vincent Luc Michel Jules-de-la-plane Jules-Bazin Julio César Jullien Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff

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Life Hack
What to do when you want something that's so expensive, that would cost months of or even years of your salary?

Quit your job!

If your salary is 0, any price times 0 is 0, basically it's free by choice

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For employers:
Did you know if you have your employees work past 12 p.m/
it counts as a new day, and you don't have to pay them any overtime salaries.

For employees

Don't poop or pee at home, or at any places that's not work.
Save it!
If you only poop at work, means you poop with pay.

Do it! Even if you are a driver! poop at work!

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What happens when an astronaut farts in the space suit?

I mean isn't that concerning？

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I can't belive some girls would do online NSFW streaming for money!

Where is the moral sense? Where is the self-respect? Where is the decency?

and WHERE IS THE LINK??????????????

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How to avoid paying taxes
Really>? They ought to put you in jail, you society's parasite

seriously how would I know? I never had a job

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Im so sick of Capcom remaking every single Resident Evil game
and forgeting about DevilMayCay 3 Remake

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If you can see this, you are gay

This is not a joke but a well studied scientific found.

and the reason you are seeing this, is because you are gay.

steam algorithm doesn't lie

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A legend once said:

"Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."
------Homer Simpson works for shcool and marriage too

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Why do guys call their girlfriend, and why your boyfriend calls you cheap things,
like sugar, honey?

If they really love their lovers, they shoud call them expensive things like


Medical bills, mortgage, crystal mas, Jetstream, ElonMusk
Amber Heard's poop on Johnny Depp's bed

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Due to the lack of funds

Scientific Found will be often delayed in the future


and yes, it takes a whole studio of Anthropologists and Psychologists to come up with a new gay thing about you but you didn't know until I tell you.

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The reason you are still denying yourself being gay
is because
you haven't seen a shemale pretty enough to change your mind.

Here, some pretty for your leap of faith

:@VenusSunrise
@Evelynforever
@NatalieMars
@Izzy Wilde
@Bangtan Sonyeon Dan
@Justin Bieber
@Drake
@John Cena

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Obese gay people like to say no

are you one of them?

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Did you know you can pretty much answer every question everyone's ever asked by saying " Your mom"?
regardless of what others think

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Your high school math teacher's new philippine stepmon might not be spider-man
but she'd still shoot white stuff on him.

never let him know how lucky he is by telling him the truth

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If you are a nihilist or constantly having existential crisis.

You probably enjoy Deathconsciousness by Have a Nice Life or Me And the Birds by Duster

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Hey! You all stop calling the owner of this profile page racist!
He is not !!!

and here are the reasons:

1) He has dark hair in his No No Area
2)He's phone is most likely black
3)He loves BBC Big Black Co....

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Did you know why Issac Newton is known for " the guy who discovered gravity" and not for "the guy who invented gravity"?

Because he sucks and it's shown in his name

who t hell would name their kid "I suck“？

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Procrastinating？

Remember！ Getting things done only makes room for more things to come!

Dont leave your comfort zone！

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Life Hack 101
Did you know you can get free candy so easily?

Whenever you see a van parking down the street.
Don't be shy, go ask the owner if he's got any candy
He'd be lovely to invite you to his basement for free snacks, games, and free housing.

and you will get more if you are a kid or female.
and don't forget to mention that you have 2 kidneys, 1 liver, and 37 lungs!
and bronze 4 in League of Legends
and IQ 250
and no one is gonna look for you if you're missing

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Found yourself lack of Motivation:>?

well, let me tell you something.

I used to be so fat, and I was ashamed of my shape.
So afraid that I couldn't even get out of my room because I felt like everyone would be judging my appearance.

Look at me now!

So fat that I can't even get through the door!

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Why do men like you choose to be gay?

girls have that thing for pooping too, you know?>

𝐹𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑑 & 𝑅𝑎𝑡𝑒 & 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 & 𝐴𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑, 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑠 𝑌𝑜𝑢

https://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3239146533

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It's Star Wars Day!
May the 4th be with you!

done, now beam me up, Spock

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Did you know that you'll get hypersexuality when you are having a maniac episode when you are bipolar
feeling like watch porn 5 times a day
and sicence has found that masturbating 2 times a week incrases your life expectancy by 20%？
and which makes you logically immortal?

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Stop wasting your life, go get your dream life
follow my successf guys's instructions:
-------
1) Uninstall Your Games
2) Turn off your PC
3) Go touch some grass
4) Go take a shower
5) Buy a rope
6) Do Erotic Asphyxiation

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I'm a pro binge eater
Do you know what comes after binge eating?

binge pooping

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You vs Shrek
1) Shrek is most likely uglier than you
You--1 Shrek--0
2) Shrek is more famous
You--1 Shrek --2
3) Shrek has a wife
You----1 Shrek---3
4) Shrek can sing ALL STAR
You--0 Shrek--5
5) Shrek is straight and you are an hidden gay.
You---99 Shrek--5

Congratulations！ You won！

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Brad Pitt is Gorge Clooney's boyfriend, and he's been cheating with Tom Cruise/

Gay will say it's fake

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How to cure your mental illness
1), Don't sleep.
--when you go to bed, you are most vulerable to your negative thoughts, stay up
if you really need to sleep, you'll sleep when you slip into a coma.

2).Stay inside.
if you stay in your room 4ever and never leave. nohing bad outside could happen to you

3), last but not least, be an openly announced gay

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KFC's new chicken pizza, aka CHIZZA sucks

nothing like in the commercial

it's just a big fried chicken steak with melted chesse on it

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Signs you have Alzheimer
1): You forget things more often
2): You lose the ability to count
3): You forgot you are gay
3): You'd strongly deny being gay
2): You forget things

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Did you know that if we all stop paying taxes, the gov will eventually run out of money to make us pay?

So don't be afraid of IRS or Jail time

Be a pioneer, be a martyr！
Don't pay your tax!

I'm unemployed

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Did you know in this day, you can basically bring all kinds of animals in public places,
as long as it's a certified " Emotional Supoort Anima"

say, some kid could really use some emotional support AK-47, right?

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A legend once said:" A gay without an iPhone is not a real gay"

real, google it up

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Did you know when a short person wave at you

it's called a microwave

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When you go on an adventure or hiking , camping whatever,\

just rememer to install some weird apps and save some weird webs

in case you get lost, there are always some single moms in your area want to meet you

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( ˶°ㅁ°) !! uwu
have i ever told u that u been my fav cosplayer?

everyday you wake up and dress up like a real man instead of those pretty femboy dresses you want in your closet

just want u 2 know that u r my fav pretty princess
uwu≽^•⩊•^≼

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Moral Class 101
What would you do when you encounter and got stuck with some kind of stewpid annoying kids?

Well, before you do anything, just remember:
Kids are the future

Theore, today belongs to us!

Kick Punch, X+X+X, Y+Y+X
Spam Ultimate

Finish him！

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Earth can't leave the solar system is because of the sun's gravity

Human can't jump out of earth is because of the gravity pull of your mom's orbit.

Greetings! Today I'd like to tell another exceedingly excellent your mom joke, if you don't wish to see it,
pls skip and don't clike the dark space to see it.