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报告翻译问题

Moest gelijk aan jou denken lol
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The Last of Us Part 2
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I hear Epic is coming out with their own original game, the "Elite College Simulator", where you pay a small fee of 500,000 USD to pretend you're on the rowing team and get into college. I hear it has some famous people doing voice acting in it too!
Also, guns.
Ivo is a sleeper agent, trained to appear to be the sweetest cutest kitty to the untrained eye, but in reality she's a highly trained spy sent by the Polish government to steal the secrets to Murican freedom.
She takes the sleep part of sleeper agent literally...as she's sleeping on me now as I type this. How do I escape? Do I need to throw away those pierogi in my fridge? Because I really wanted to eat them =(. What do I do? Send help.
Also guns.
❅❆❅ 𝓜𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓶𝓪𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓼! ❅❄❅
*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:
Also, guns.
And for the independence of Poland :D
MISS.
Nice one, Riconator.
, . . .
。 ゚ 。
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。 ゚ . .
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Unfortunately they come with an extra side of obesity and gun-related deaths, but that is the price we must pay for our freedom.
You have 2 days to accept freedom and democracy or else Freedom Fairy will be forced to deploy the troops and make all your base belong to us.
To accept the terms and conditions please respond "PRAISE FREEDOM"
Also, guns.