MY DOG BIT MY PENIS OFF? STORY TIME OK SO I WAS FEELING HORNY... BUT JERKING IT TO SOME GOOD OL ASS AND TITS WASNT DOING IT FOR ME... THEN I TRIED TO SUCK MY OWN PENIS! BUT... HENCE, I WASNT FLEXIBLE! I NEARLY BROKE MY SPINE IN HALF IN ATTEMPT TO GAG ON MY GLORIOUS SHAFT. NO ITS NOT GAY BECAUSE ITS MY PENIS! AND I IDENTIFY MY PENIS AS A WOMAN SO TECHINCALLY ITS NOT GAY SO SHUT THE ♥♥♥♥ UP! Anyway MY MOM HAD SOME PEANUTBUTTER in the cubboard... And then I look at my golden retriever, max. I noticed max licking water out of his bowl. Then it hit me, ha. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO BLIND? I take action as soon as I began my enlightenment...I openeed UP THE JAR, AND BEGAN THE RUB THE GLORIOUS SEMI-LIQUID ON MY NUTS. I WENT TO MY DOG WITH MY NUTS AND ♥♥♥♥ DRENCHED IN PEANUT BUTTER. "COME ON MAX... LICK IT BOY!". Max JUMPED ON MY ♥♥♥♥! HE BIT INTO IT! TO ATTEMPT TO GAIN THE LIQUID! AND THEN HE BIT MY ♥♥♥♥ AND BALLS OFF! HELP!

-чмо

+rep

I cant help but comment that you have ruined every game iof dota 2 youve ever played. Thanks for oyur service for joining my game and ensuring I lose too! You're too kind

Hello, I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female, and I am under the presumption that this goddess is you? It is quite astonishing to see a female here. I am quite popular around here, so if you require guidance, please throw me a mention. I will assist you at any hour, day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as many women often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers... So rest assured that I will not be in the way of your gaming and socializing experience. Consider me a Player 2.. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some video games together some time. Platonically of course, unless you (like many others) change your mind on that. I look forward to our future together (as friends of course.)

-rep, child behavior