Religious Figure
7.32 Foot Vertical Jump
Patient Zero for 3 Global Diseases (survived all)
10 Years of service on Steam
Member of MENSA
Kohls' Employee of the Month Award x6
Ran 5 "Iron Mans" in 5 Days
Recite all 50 US states in alphabetical order in 12 seconds
Husked 13 Cobs of Corn in one minute
Can Freedive 125 Meters Deep
Broke The Sound Barrier x4
CPR Certified
Lexus December To Remember Sales Event Finance Champion x4
NCAA March Madness Perfect Bracket Winner 2001-2009
Co-Invented Solar Power (un-credited (which is buIIshit))
Most Consecutive One-Handed Back Handsprings (34)
Academy Honorary Award Nominee
Freemason
Steam "Clever" Award Winner
Climbed Mount Everest x2
Most 5.56×45mm Bullets Swallowed in a Minute (83 1/2)