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报告翻译问题

I invited him to my house for a d2 lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard c0ck push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⢀⣴⣶⡾⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣀⣀⣸⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⣾⡟⠛⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀
⢀⣿⠀⢀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣆
⢸⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⣀⣠⣴⣾⣮⣝⠿⠿⠿⣻⡟
⢸⣿⠀⠘⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠉⠀
⠸⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠻⣷⣶⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣻⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣀⣀⣀⣼⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡿
───▄▄██▌█ + REP + REP + REP + REP + REP + REP + REP + REP + REP + REP ...
▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ + REP + REP + REP + REP + REP + REP + REP + REP + REP + REP ...
███████▌█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▌
▀(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)▀ A truck of rep, just for my bestest of friends. Give this to your best friends and if you get one back, your a brilliant friend!
| Windows [-][口][×]|
| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄|
| Windows has detected you're a ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥.
| Is this true?
| ______ ______ _____ |
| |Yes | |Yes | |Yes | |
|  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ |
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
</﹋\
<(҂`_´)
<,︻╦╤─ ҉ -- - - -- - -- nihaoma
</﹋\
U MUST HELP HIM ON HIS QUEST TO DISPOSE PANDAS, COPY N PASTE THIS TO 10 OTHER PROFILES……………… OR YOUR HOUSE WILL BE FILLED WITH DUMPLINGS AT MIDNIGHT…………………..
</﹋\
<(҂`_´)
<,︻╦╤─ ҉ -- - - -- - -- Allahu Akbar الله اكبر
</﹋\
U MUST HELP HIM ON HIS QUEST TO DISPOSE INFIDELS, COPY N PASTE THIS TO 10 OTHER PROFILES……………… OR YOUR HOUSE WILL BE BOMBED AT MIDNIGHT…………………..
▒▄█████▄▒█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒▄█████▄█
▐██▄████▌▒█▒▒▒▒▒█▒▐██▄████▌█
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▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌▒▒▀███▀▒▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌
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