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报告翻译问题

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I hope zen finds you this holiday season, and brings out your inner chi. God bless, and Merry Christmas!
UNFORTUNATELY SINCE YOU HAVE READ THESE WORDS YOU ARE CURSED TOO!
You can save yourself by posting this story on 5 other profiles.
Good luck.
I have a full-time job, so you probably won't see me around during the evening tues-fri. I am most active late at night, or on the weekends.
I'm pretty straight up, if you've got a question, I'll answer it honestly and to the best of my ability.
Squid: Who are you?
Squid: You can contact me from Steam messages, and no, I didn't.
Squid: So is that all you needed? Did you want to just comment on my profile instead of talking to me through messages, and Tactical Intervention's Anti-Cheat is aids, it can't do ♥♥♥♥
Squid: Oh, now I remember you from CS:GO, you were the salty ♥♥♥♥♥♥ that seemed to have his stick up his ass because I was hacking.
Squid: Sorry, not CS:GO, but Rocket League.
Squid: And also, why do you need feel the need to ask me? It's really not that hard to just accept defeat in a game, it's a game for ♥♥♥♥ sake. You got salty because me and my teammate whooped you because we've played since Closed Alpha, hense why me and him have the Alpha topper and Alpha antena.
BELOW
Screw your Biwa