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报告翻译问题

Just letting you know.
85 on private servers.
1189.9 hrs, LOLOLOL!
Only a matter of time before this "noob" gets banned from the community chat too.
YOUR NAME IS TOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What?
EUROPE AT WAR -- War has been declared across Europe following events that we still do not understand and no one will ever be able to quite explain!
Germany is fighting France, Britain is fighting the Ottomans, Australia has wisely agreed to fight Austria-Hungary. A noble man was killed in Sarajevo, triggering events for reasons that are still unclear, although no fighting has happened in Sarajevo, nor anywhere nearby, which is luck as we are not quite sure where Sarajevo is, or was. Italy has promised to switch sides. Russia has promised to cover itself in glory. Poland has complained, bitterly, about its appalling neighbors and demanded independence. Belgium said join the club. Politicians and monarchs across Europe, most of whom are incestuously related, are promising that the war will be over by Christmas. America has mercifully stayed out of the conflict and, in declaring its neutrality and hopes for a lasting peace.
OH, YOU'RE A REAL RIOT, BUDDY!
And btw, there's a difference between anti-social and Internet ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.
What would you like to discuss? Note that if you say Regae I will unfriend you a.s.a.p.