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报告翻译问题

I WOULDNT GO TO YOUR FUNERAL BECAUSE ID BE SITTING ON A TABLE
∧_∧
( ´∀`)
/ |
/ .|
/ "⌒ヽ |.イ |
__ | .ノ | || |__
. ノく__つ∪∪ \
_((_________\
 ̄ ̄ヽつ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ | | ̄
_________| |
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄| |
WE TRUE TABLECATS
WE SIT TOGETHER
WE SIT TOGETHER ON A TABLE
║╚═╦═╦══╦═╗╔╗─╔╗
║╔╗║╔╣╔╗║╔╗╣║─║║ put this
║╚╝║║║╚╝║║║║╚═╝║ on your profile
╚══╩╝╚══╩╝╚╩═╗╔╝ if you're a brony
───────────╔═╝║ and proud!
───────────╚══╝
DA TRU ♥♥♥♥♥ CASTLE
█▄█▄█─────────█▄█▄█
▐█┼█▌█▄█▄█▄█▄█▐█┼█▌
▐███▌█┼█╔═╗█┼█▐███▌
▐███▌███║▓║███▐███▌
dat means ur one of us now
repost this to 5 of ur fav ♥♥♥♥♥♥ or u'll be banished
Because nobody likes playing with cheaters.
Playing games should be fun. In order to ensure the best possible online multiplayer experience, Valve developed a state-of-the-art anti-cheat system that automatically detects and permanently bans any player using cheats or hacks on a VAC secured server. What this means to you as a player is that you don't have to worry about annoying cheaters getting an unfair advantage and disrupting your game.
The Valve Anti-Cheat system is only enabled on servers with the secured shield logo and only Valve has the ability to VAC ban a user. While server admins may choose to ban players from playing on their specific servers, they do not have the ability to VAC ban players. The VAC system is automated and contacting Steam Support to report cheaters isn't necessary.
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barely
Hello my beautiful goddess, I saw your profile and figured id try writing you. i can't disrespect a girl. It's not in me. I'm a gentleman. Quite honestly, It sure surprised me to see you on here. I just have a hard time seeing someone who could easilly be a model having trouble meeting someone
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I have found you
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╚═╝░░╚═══╝╚═╝░╚═════╝░░╚═════╝░╚══════╝╚═╝░░╚═╝╚══════╝
░H░A░P░P░Y░░░N░E░W░░Y░E░A░ R░░2015░░
♪ღ♪*•.¸¸¸.•*¨¨*•.¸¸¸.•*•♪ღ ♪¸.•*¨¨*•.¸¸¸.•*•♪ღ♪•